Broken and Bloodstained
by Kindcaidlyn
Summary: The Star Wars adventure as you've never heard it before. This is the well-loved story through the eyes of Princess Leia--and her father.
1. Prologue

Alderaan was gone. Vaporized. Blown into space dust and asteroid chunks. Before my very eyes. And it was my fault. _ My fault_. A whole world was gone. A whole civilization. and not just any world. My world. And it was my fault. My father, my cousins, my family and friends. Dead. _My fault._ Strangers, people I had never set eyes on. Dead._ My fault._ My world. My home. _My fault._

I almost wished I was dead too. How could I go on? Everything I had ever known as a child was gone. And it was all my fault. **My fault**_**.**_

_** No. **_I told myself. _No. The __Alliance__ needs you._

_ But, _I argued with myself. _I joined the Alliance to _**_save_**_ Alderaan. And I _**_destroyed_**_ it._

_ So now you have to save others from suffering the same fate._

_ But I wanted to save _**_Alderaan._**

_ It's too late. Too late._

The words echoed in my head.


	2. The End

Cannon bolts rocked the ship. I struggled not to scream as I careened into an unpadded wall and bruised my shoulder. Wasn't this a picnic? This day had started out so wonderfully. No, really, I'm _not_ being sarcastic, though I know that that is one of my many faulty character traits. "A diplomat is never sarcastic, facetious, sardonic, or caustic." My father used to tell me all the time. Most people don't appreciate sarcasm. "They see it as mockery of themselves and their positions." Ah, father, if only you could see me now.

The day _had _started out wonderfully. Tensely—it is true, full of action—of course, nerve-wracking—most certainly. But it all worked out all right, at least up until ten standard minutes ago when the Imperials caught up with us.

But one thing at a time. I had been placed aboard Captain Antilles ship for a special mission that directly involved my home world of Alderaan. Commander himself recommended me. It was an especially dangerous mission, but vital, so I accepted gladly.

Wrong choice, as I was just now beginning to see.

As per orders, Antilles ship carried the crew and myself into Imperial space near Tatooine. Not an easy task, but Antilles managed it.

After that harrowing trip, we arrived at the rendezvous point.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Nothing happened. Just my luck. We were just going to run for it when the transmission finally came through. The Rebel spies had done it! These transmissions were no ordinary transmissions. So many lives had been risked on this mission all for this tiny silver disk of information.

This information was a complete technical readout to the ultimate Imperial weapon, the ultimate battle station.

The Death Star.

Even the name by itself was enough to send chills up and down my spine. Even more was the knowledge of what this contraption could do.

Destroy whole planets.

That was more than an entire fleet of Imperial ships could do.

**Destroy whole planets.**

I fully understood why the Imperial's would kill anything and anyone who stood in the way of recapturing the stolen data-tapes. If they stayed in the hands of the Rebellion, we could find a weakness and destroy the very thing that would otherwise mean the doom of the Rebel Alliance and the galaxy.

Finally, we had gotten what we came for, what we had risked so many lives for.

So we high-tailed it out of there.

I could only guess what was happening in the outside world. The Imperials would have probably discovered the theft by now. I hoped the spies had escaped. Perhaps the Imperials had discovered the theft sooner than we realized and that was why the transmissions were late. Perhaps they were even now on our trail…

I was being paranoid, so I tried to find something else to do, to distract myself.

Then our hyperdrive and secondary engine blew out, just as Antilles pulled the levers to throw us into hyperspace. So, instead of being thrown into hyperspace, I was thrown against the wall and nearly knocked unconscious. That was Bruise Number One. A large red welt on the back of my head. It didn't take long to figure out what had happened. One of the crewmembers had forgotten to shut the engines all the way down and they had overheated. A stupid, stupid mistake. Any first-time apprentice knew to turn the engines down as far as possible when at a standstill. _I _knew to turn the engines down as far as possible when at a standstill.

It was too late now, so no sense in jumping on the culprit.

The crew began frantically trying to cool down the engine faster. Nothing was working.

But soon matters were far, far worse.

We were inching our way to Tatooine, and the second part of our mission, on our lone working engine, when a Star Destroyer appeared from hyperspace with absolutely no warning.

"Unidentified spacecraft, this is the Star Destroyer _Nefarious_ transmitting. You are ordered by the Emperor to identify yourself and transmit a complete list of cargo, passengers, and destination. You are given ten standard seconds to reply. The line is open for your reply."

Static erupted on the line.

Captain Antilles hit the comm button. "Star Destroyer _Nefarious,_ (_Nefarious?_ What kind of name is that for a government ship? I guess the Empire has given up on subtlety) this is the cruiser _Star's Light._ I am Captain Foley." Antilles told the _Nefarious_ the previously discussed alias of both ship and officer. "We would gladly comply with your request, were it not that only our comm system is in working order. Out transmitting system has malfunctioned and is even now under repair. It will take at least a half of a standard hour to fix it with the technicians aboard. When it is fixed we will comply promptly. Over."

Static again, for an inordinate amount of time.

"Cruiser _Star's Light_, prepare a boarding party. We are boarding your ship, Captain Foley."

"Negative, negative," Antilles replied, his frantic expression betraying his calm voice. "This is diplomatic mission to Alderaan, a legal, Senate-approved journey. It is not permitted to be boarded, if we could just have a little time we would comply—"

"And this is a government ship commissioned by the Emperor himself. You will stand down, Captain Foley, if that is your name, or we will blow your ship into pieces."

"But we cannot—"

The only answer was a cannon blast that rocketed into the hull of Antilles's ship, totally unsuspected and sending me flying. Again. I have never been the most graceful or surefooted person in the galaxy. Bruise Number Two was formed on my knee. So much for that tournament of tannirball I was planning on playing after this trip.

Antilles frantically flipped switches and pushed buttons, causing the ship to balance itself and prepare for further impact. Several red lights stopped flashing and a few alarms quit blaring. Struggling to my feet and ignoring my aching knee and throbbing head, I quickly sat in one of the many chairs anchored to the floor in the cockpit and fumbled with the safety webbing.

"Abort! Abort!" Antilles half-shouted into the comm speaker. "We are on a peaceful, diplomatic mission!" Diplomatic—yes, but not the kind the Empire liked. Peaceful my foot. But we had to keep the _Nefarious_ from discovering that. We had to keep those transmissions—or at least get them into Rebel hands.

And I _had _to get to Tatooine.

More blasts rocked the ship. Antilles released the comm switch, but there was no static. The line was dead. The Imperials must have cut it off. Antilles muttered something unintelligible and probably unprintable. Frantically he switched to the intercom and shouted at the crew to get the ship going full speed. Brief arguing ensued, but soon we were at full speed.

This was next to nothing.

With only one engine urging the spacecraft along, it was impossible to outrun the fully powered _Nefarious._ But we would try anyway.

Realizing I was of no more use in the cockpit, I snatched up the tiny, silver disk containing the life or death of the Rebellion, and hurried away into the belly of the faltering cruiser.

I had to get those plans off of this ship. I had to get to Tatooine. I had to find Obi-Wan Kenobi. But how? I started towards the escape pods, then, just as I reached them, realized they would be of absolutely no use to me, unless I wanted to destroy the plans and myself along with them. The Imperials could scan pods for life forms and blast them into nanospecs if they contained anything living. The only thing _that_ would accomplish, besides killing myself pointlessly, would be that all evidence would be destroyed that this had been anything other than a diplomatic mission. Which might not be a bad idea except all this work would be for nothing. That would be my last resort, I decided.

I could just put the plans in, and send the pod on its way without anylife forms, so it wouldn't get blasted to pieces, but then, it might float in space forever or be picked up by the wrong people: smugglers or the Empire itself.

There was a jerk and a clunk as the _Nefarious_ overtook our ship and locked in the boarding ramps.

I had to get those plans to Alderaan. My father was there. He could get the data-tapes into the hands of the Rebellion. If only, if only, if _only_ I could get them to him…

Bruise Number Three was the one on my shoulder from my careening into the wall, Four and Five were on my shins from tripping over a large white object, and Bruise Number Six was atop my head when I stumbled and fell over the object. I fell against another wall and so prevented myself from complete humiliation.

Gritting my teeth to keep from crying out, I staggered to my feet and turned to see the object. It was a droid, a little blue-and white domed astromech. He—it—looked familiar. I read the little platelet that identified it. R2-D2. Frenzied and half-hysterical with panic, I started away from the droid.

And froze in a sudden, unreasonable terror. I felt suddenly icy cold, a shroud of dread and despair settling in my mind. _Darth Vader_, the name came unbidden to my thoughts. He was here. I didn't know how I knew it, but I did. _He_ was here. I felt it the moment he stepped aboard, like an arctic wind on my face. I could almost see his black-armored figure striding down the white corridors, hear the clicking of his black boots against the tile, the raspy sound of his breathing…

The vision faded and I found myself staring at the blue-domed astromech droid.

Life forms would show on the Imperial scanners.

Droids were not life forms.

Droids would **not** show on the Imperial scanners.

Here, at last, was my messenger.

But an escape pod would never make it all the way to Alderaan. It would barely make it to Tatooine. Tatooine…

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The second part of my mission, to bring General Kenobi to Alderaan, would have to be accomplished by this little droid and not myself. I called the droid. Composing my message in my head, I switched on the astromech's recording system.

"General Kenobi,

"Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars…"

It wasn't a long message, but I was short on time, and it would have to suffice. I heard a clicking sound of footsteps and a voice, so I quickly inserted the disk into the astromech droid where it was recorded into his memory systems. I darted behind a large supply canister to hide from whoever was coming.

I needn't have worried. It was only R2's counterpart, C-3P0. 3P0 is a humanoid, golden-plated, protocol droid that talks too much. I watched the duo make their way toward the escape pods, 3P0 prattling all the way.

I was feeling braver, now that those blessed and accursed plans were out of my hands. I crept along the hall, biding my time, until I found an unused blaster. Finally, a weapon. I snatched it up. The battery almost dead, only good for about one shot. No luck for me, I guess. I would have to make that one shot count. Hmm, if I could only get close to Vader…

I heard several sets of footsteps, sounding much like booted feet. I peeked around the corner, blaster at the ready. It was a group of stormtroopers, secure behind their white armor.

"There's another one. Set your weapons for stun." I heard one of the troopers say. They had seen me. So much for getting to Vader. Taking careful aim, I used my only shot on the one who had spoken. He collapsed; dead or wounded I couldn't tell. Not thinking quite straight, I darted across the hall. The blue arcs of a stun gun came at me and I didn't feel myself hit the floor.

I hate those stupid stun guns. When I awoke, it felt like my head had exploded and then somebody put it back together wrong. As soon as I opened my eyes, they escorted me directly to Darth Vader himself.

Naturally, I pretended to not be worried. Also naturally, I was shaking with terror inside. But I forced myself to walk and stand confidently and with my head held high, as a member of the Imperial Senate should act. Finally, I saw him. Lord Vader. He was tall, (though everyone is taller than me) the top of my head didn't make it anywhere near his shoulder; in fact, I barely made it past his elbow. Next to the giant, broad-shouldered, two-meter-tall Vader, I looked like a child. I had always been a small, slender person, but this was ridiculous. Vader's black armor, cape, and mask were very intimidating, which I imagine was the intended effect.

I got a funny feeling when I first saw him. I felt like I _knew_ him. Like I had seen him before, except for not like he was now. Like he was an old friend, relative, or something. I shook off the feeling. I knew I had never seen him before. How could I possibly know him as anything but Darth Vader, the second in command of the Empire? I tried hard to ignore the irritating feeling that I _did_ know him.

"Darth Vader," I said, working to keep my voice clear and sharp, "only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you have attacked a diplomatic–"

"Don't act so surprised, Your Highness." Vader interrupted me. " You weren't on any _mercy_ mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to those plans."

" I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan." Youngest member of the Senate, to be exact.

He pointed a finger accusingly at me and said angrily, " You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!" Me? Part of the Rebel Alliance? A traitor? Perish the thought!

I was escorted to my cell. A small, grey box with a bench in it. I could walk the entire length of my squarish prison in two steps.

* * *

_For a moment I had faltered there, when I saw her. Her eyes, oh by the ancient worlds, her eyes! They look almost exactly like Hers! For half of a heavenly moment I saw Padmé, I saw my love…_

_But Padmé is dead, and I killed Her, and I live with that every day of my wretched life._

_And this traitor robed in white means nothing to me. Nothing. Princess Leia of Alderaan is a misguided girl, (a mere child!) who has the audacity to serve an erroneous rebellion that disagrees with my Emperor and his wishes, and would try to destroy all the good that the New Order had done for the galaxy. Trying to destroy the peace, order, and justice that the Empire had brought to the universe._

_Oh, but her eyes…_


	3. A Closer Look at the Color Gray

I wondered what had happened to Captain Antilles and the rest of the crew. Either dead or in a position similar to mine. As if Vader would be stupid enough to release them to go back to the Rebellion and the Senate to tell about Vader attacking "a consular ship". I wondered if he had found and executed the Rebel spies that had managed to get us the plans.

I wondered what the Imperials were going to do with me. They really only had one other option since they hadn't already killed me. Torture. To try to get as much information out of me until they could get no more. And then they would kill me. But I was sure they would be forced to kill me before I gave them anything.

My father had always told me I was strong for my age. I was stubborn, strong-willed, and high-spirited. I was always in trouble and charming my way out of most of it thirty seconds later.

But I wasn't going to be able to charm my way out of this one. I had been trained to withstand torture, but my own people weren't really going to hurt me, and Imperial interrogation rooms were somewhat famous for _really_ torturing people, torturing them to the point of death, then stopping and repeating the procedure once the victim was healthy enough. I did not look forward to a repeatedly looking death in the face until they got tired of me and finished the job.

I was in the middle of these thoughts when Darth Vader appeared in the doorway, troopers behind him. I could almost see the smirk on his face behind the mask. " Come, Princess, and see the Rebellion's doom." Curious, but trying not to appear so, I made no move to obey. Vader turned away without waiting to see what I would do. For a moment, I half-expected him to actually leave. Then the stormtroopers entered and yanked me to my feet.

My hands still bound, I followed Vader to a large window, to a sight that filled my entire view. The Death Star itself. Unconsciously, I sucked in my breath. "Yes." Vader's voice purred beside me. "Magnificent, isn't it?"

I bit my lower lip to keep from making any more sounds. The Death Star was huge, as big as an average-sized moon. By far the largest space station I had ever seen or heard of.

"Vader, I want to know what happened to the captain and the crew of my_ consular_ ship." I demanded, forcing my gaze away from the terror in front of me.

Vader surprised my by answering me. "A distress signal was sent from your ship. I informed the Senate that we were answering the distress call and arrived in time to see it explode and that all aboard were killed. As they all were. Except you. Oh, and those Rebel spies that sent you the plans? They were discovered and executed." He turned toward me and looked straight at me. "I strangled your captain myself."

I shuddered inwardly as I was taken aboard the Death Star. Vader had destroyed it. With all the crew aboard, and Captain Antilles. And supposedly me. Except I was not dead, I was here. And the Rebel spies in the Senate would hear about my supposed death soon enough. Then I truly would be dead, to everyone except the Imperials. And on the Death Star that no one knew about, my last chance of rescue or escape was vaporized. I would die here. As I sat in my cell aboard the Death Star, I wondered what my father would think. And my best friend Obri. And the rest of my family and friends. And the Rebellion. _I wonder if they will ever know what happened to me._ I thought dimly, as my eyes closed and I slipped into a restless slumber.

***

When I awoke, I couldn't figure out where I was. This was definitely not my chamber at the Yavin headquarters. My cell was a grey blur in front of my sleep-fogged eyes. The bunk I was lying on felt hard and unyielding. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten for a while. So where was I? My vision cleared, but nothing looked any different except it wasn't as blurry. Trying to find somebody who would explain this to me, I got up and tried to open the door.

It was locked.

And it all came flooding back. Everything. The mission to retrieve the plans. The capture by the _Nefariou_s. Vader. Antilles's death. The spies' capture and execution.

Feelings of anger and helplessness suddenly overwhelming me, I pounded on the door twice and screamed in fury. But I didn't cry. I never cried out loud. I hadn't since I was a child. I had to be strong, and crying wouldn't help me. _Don't cry, Leia, don't cry. Not out loud. Not now. Not ever. _

I sat down on the slab of metal they call a bunk and looked around. There was absolutely nothing in here. Nothing but my bunk and a little place underneath it they call a privy. Well, there was a little tiny metal container near the door. I walked over too it and examined it's contents. Some sort of brownish liquid. I guess it was supposed to be water. I dipped a finger into it and smelled it. It smelled stale. I grimaced and left the container where it lay. If that was water, my name wasn't Leia Organa. That was not water. Perhaps it once had been, before they dumped bantha fodder in it. It probably didn't even have any nutritional value anymore.

Standing, I looked around my bare, grey cell. I walked over to one of the walls. Not even a crack at the seams. Too bad they hadn't made it out of stone. Then I could count stones to occupy my time. But the walls were solid, smooth, and unyielding. No stones. Count walls? 1, 2, 3, 4. That was boring. Ok, That wall is…Drewbie. That one is Maddi. That one… you can be Carin. And you, with the door…you are Hope. How crazy is that? Less than a day into my imprisonment, I was naming walls.

Bored already, I absently started humming an old Alderaan tune I had learned as a child.

I wondered when the Imperials would come for me. Oh, they would come, I knew, unless they were planning on starving me to death. If they wanted to kill me, they would have done it long ago. No, I was sure Vader had something far worse than starvation planned for me.

I reached the end of the song, and started another.

_This is ridiculous, _I thought, _why don't they just come and get it over with?_

_That's a dumb question, _I answered myself, _they want you to be weak when they torture you. You're strong, healthy, determined right now. Interrogating you now would be useless. You could withstand it easily. But in a couple days…with no food…little water…your spirit will weaken. You will be fragile. Vulnerable. Breakable._

_Never! I will never give in!_

_That's easy to say now._

_No!_

I know what you're thinking. I'm a crazy. A schizophrenic. A psychopath. I mean, I talk to myself, right? What kind of sane person holds conversations with themselves?

I finished that song, and had to think a minute before I thought of another one.

I don't know. Maybe I am crazy. Solitary confinement can do strange things to a body. I honestly don't know how much time had passed. There was nothing to keep track of time. Nothing. I was desperate. I took off my belt and tried to use the buckle to scratch marks in the wall, one for every day. But the walls were unbreakable. My buckle didn't even scratch it. Later I realized if it had, I had no way to tell the day from the night. They didn't even bother to turn the lights off.

I had sung every song I had ever learned, even the songs they teach to three-year-olds. So I started over. I got bored of that and started retelling old stories I had read or heard.

Finally, I grew tired and lay down on the hard bunk (Which I affectionately called Yentri) to sleep.

The next day, I still had no food. My throat was parched with dehydration, so at last I forced the brown, stale water down my throat.

It wasn't too bad once I got used to it. At least I managed not to throw up in my slop bucket. Well, the second time I tried, anyway.

Bored again, I started sorting through my memories of Alderaan, essentially replaying my life in my mind. My earliest memories could barely be counted as memories. I remembered nothing in particular, only images here, and perhaps an emotion there, often a confused and senseless series of images. A face. A pale, deathly pale, yet beautiful face and a feeling of surprise and terror. And the light. The light was blinding, at least to me. A sensation of heartbreaking sadness. Not my sadness, but another's…my mother's, I guess. I must have been in a nursery or something, because I heard an infant cry, and it wasn't me.

From there the memories sped ahead to the time I was a toddler on Alderaan, adopted by the Viceroy Bail Organa and his wife. Here they became a little less vague and confusing. I remember falling constantly when I was learning to walk. I recall trying to pull myself up into a standing position by a tablecloth, but the cloth and all it's contents spilled down on top of me. I remember my adoptive mother, the only woman I knew as my mother, cradling me in her arms and trying to soothe my tears, her cool cheek against my warm one, arms holding me tightly.

I was older now, and starting school. I hated it at first. I couldn't sit still. There were too many new people to meet, new things to see, and new activities to do.

That was when I met Obri, sometime during the first week of school. We got off to a rough start. She came up to me one day, smiling. "Hi Leah!"

She pronounced my name wrong. She pronounced it, "lee-ah". I always hated it when people did that. So I corrected her, perhaps a bit unkindly.

"It's not Leah, it's Leia."

She gave me a hurt look and left.

I don't remember how, but somehow we got past our first impressions and became fast friends. I was a bit wilder than Obri, but not by much. We were always into mischief, all through elementary, though Obri was a good accountability to me, stopping me if our pranks started to go too far.

I remember one time, when I was seven. I was in the backyard of the palace grounds, climbing the huge tree in the middle of the yard. I was about halfway up, when suddenly I slipped. I fell, all the way to the ground. My father claims my scream was heard halfway around Alderaan.

By the time I hit the ground, though, I was unconscious. I had snapped my right arm and leg, cracked three ribs, and fractured my skull in two places. It was a wonder I had survived.

Six months later, my mother died of a mysterious illness. I remember those awful days when she was sick, lying in bed, shivering and pale, her body wasted. One day, she called me into her room. At her request, I climbed onto the bed. I knew she was dying. I crawled next to her, and with her last strength, she wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you, Leia," she whispered weakly, "Be strong, child, be strong."

"I will, Mother. I love you too." I could hardly speak through the tears in my eyes.

She died with her arms still around me.

That was the last time I cried. The very last time. I closed up, after that. Even Obri noticed a change. Especially Obri. My father was so caught up in his own grief that it was many a month before he could find the courage to comfort me. Obri was the only person who could help me, and most of the time, I wouldn't let her. Eight is a young age to close down your heart. Too young.

And now, ten years later, my heart was still behind that same wall.


	4. Escape Artist

Two "nights" later, meaning simply after I had slept two more times, the door swished open ominously. Vader, followed by two black-clad guards, entered. Without prelude, he spoke, "And now, Your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Rebel base." I felt my neck prickle in unpleasant expectation.

I heard a whirring and clicking noise and I watched in horror as a black probe droid hovered into the room. Attached to it was a clear tube containing a white liquid. A truth serum.

I felt my eyes grow wide at the sight of the long needle attached. I felt myself shrink against the wall, as if trying to fade into the metal.

The door closed with a hiss and click.

***

I like to think it was bravery that made me not struggle much as the two guards grabbed hold of my arms. I like to think it was courage that made me submit as they strapped me to my bunk. I like to think it was valor that kept me from crying out as the droid moved closer, long needle glinting in the florescent lights.

But really, it wasn't any of those things. It was sheer terror that made me so scared I couldn't have struggled if I tried. It was absolute panic that made me so shocked I couldn't think of any other option than to submit as they bound me. It was utter horror that closed my throat stopped me from screaming in terror. I was a terrified, spineless coward in my own eyes.

Then the needle pierced my skin. I could feel the blood spurting out. I whimpered. The needle probed deeper.

I don't remember any more details after that. I only remember pain, indescribable pain. I remember hearing my screams and cries and pleas. I remember Vader's voice, whispering. It could stop. It would stop, if only, if only, if only I would tell him the location of the Rebel base.

I suppose I refused. I don't remember for certain. Finally, though, the pain grew too great and I fell into blackness.

They revived me, only to suffer more pain.

I don't know how long I endured this, pain, whispers, screams, blackness, only to be forced awake to suffer more pain, until finally Vader's voice grew impatient and he left me, lying on the floor like a dead thing.

When I finally woke up, still on the floor like an animal, the first thing I thought was that I had betrayed the Rebellion and that was why Vader left. But then I remembered his impatient voice and somebody saying, "This isn't working. She is resisting too well."

Relieved, but still in too much pain to move, I focused on the ceiling and let my thoughts wander aimlessly.

***

It is hard to wait for your own death. Worse than dying without seeing it coming. I thought I would go crazy, sitting there, nothing to do, nothing to think. At least they had started feeding me. Sort of. But a few days later I got a worse alternative. Another meeting with a probe droid. After I had recovered enough to actually stand on my own two feet, I decided I wasn't going to stand for it anymore. I was going to escape.

When the guard came to give me the whatever-they-call-food, I was pressed against the same wall the door was on, the wall I had named Hope. The guard couldn't see me from the doorway (Freedom), so, naturally, he took one step in to see where I was. The stormtrooper was as dumb as I hoped and dumber than I expected. He had drawn his blaster so I went for that hand first. At least he was smart enough to do that. For all the good it did him. The moment I moved the blaster was tracking toward me. But by then I was on him. I yanked it out of his grip and shot him. (Fortunately it was on the stun setting) He was so surprised he didn't really have time to react before I stunned him. So helpless behind all that white armor.

Still holding the blaster, I left my cell, sliding the door shut behind me. I stood still for a moment, looking at my surroundings. There wasn't much to see. The hall was grey, and shaped like a hexagon. Beams were evenly spaced on the wall, and cell doors were between the beams. I could see the grate that lead to the garbage chute right next to my cell. I stored the information away unconsciously. I looked at the number beside the door of my cell. 287.

I was so occupied with the fact that I was escaping; I hadn't planned any farther than getting out the door. I was halfway down the hall before I realized I had no way of getting off the Death Star. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go beyond that thought, because at that moment, the guards down the hall noticed me and started shooting at yours truly. I raised my blaster and backed down the hall, returning their fire. Until my back hit a wall. Uh-oh. It was a dead end. Clever me.

I had no idea how I knew, but I did. Vader had arrived. I couldn't see him through the smoke from who-knows-what. But I could _feel _him. I could feel his hands reaching toward me. Cold, invisible hands, grasping at me. I was firing blindly into the chaos at the other end of the hall. Then Vader emerged from the smoke. All at once, everything was blurry and I couldn't think straight. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I saw one of my wild shots hit him. He didn't even flinch. I fired again and this time I saw the bolt diminish into nothing before it even reached him.

Then the invisible hands yanked my blaster out of my own hands and smashed it on the floor, breaking it. I saw a stray shot heading straight toward me. To bewildered to dodge it, I threw my hands in front of my face. I felt the bolt hit my hand, sizzle, and die.

Without hurting me.

I stared at my hand, my mind reeling with shock and confusion. The bolt had not hurt me. I was _so _confused. I had seen the flash coming straight at my face. There was no way it had missed. I had felt it hit my hand. But I was not injured. There wasn't even a mark or burn on my hand.

Suddenly I felt a wave of wonder and fear and confusion coming at me from Vader's direction. Wait a minute. From _Vader? _ I looked up at him. He had paused, only a few feet from yours truly. For a moment, both of us stood stock still, staring at each other. Then the blue arcs of a stun gun came at me, the world seemed to spin, and I saw the tiled floor rushing at me. I heard the thump of my head against the ground, but didn't feel it. I saw Vader standing triumphantly above me and everything went black.

* * *

_The traitor tried to escape today. A foolish attempt. She was halted before she made it out of the cell banks. Yet, I'm glad she did it. I hadn't realized before that the Force is with this little girl. I watched as the stray blaster bolt raced toward her head. She instinctively threw her hand in front of her face and I suddenly felt shock waves of the Force flowing out from her like waves in the seas. The bolt hit her hand without harming her. At first I was afraid, realizing I had a Force-sensitive prisoner. But I could see by her face she had no clue why the bolt had not harmed her. She has no conscious control over her powers, nor, I suspect, knowledge that she has them. She has no training, so her powers are useless._

_The Force is strong with her, though most Jedi were much stronger. This traitor's power seems to come and go, showing up only in desperate need. But when it does show, it is dizzyingly powerful_

_But should she ever discover the potential within herself, the Empire will never be as secure._

_First her eyes, so exactly like my Padmé's, then, this surprising incident showing her to be Force-sensitive. And she is strong, strong-willed enough to resist the probe-droid __twice, without the conscious help of the Force. I almost think her force of will is stronger than the Force within her._

_This woman is beginning to haunt me._

* * *

I woke up with the massive headache of being stunned, coupled with the headache of hitting a hard, tiled floor head-on. So much for my escape plan. It barely got me out of my cell, much less off the Death Star. I wearily pulled myself to my bunk, Yentri, dragged myself onto it, and collapsed, face buried in my arms. I thought of my father. How I longed for his presence! Or my mother, dead for ten years. Obri would be welcome too. I just needed somebody, somebody who loved me, somebody who could hug me and hold me and just _be_ there for me.

But everyone who cared about me was either dead or believed that I was dead.

That was an interesting thought.

And frankly, quite terrifying.

My father thought I was dead. Obri thought I was dead. My aunts, my uncles, my cousins thought I was dead. The Rebellion thought I was dead.

The only people in the whole galaxy who knew I was alive were my enemies, members and leaders of the Empire.

And that, my friend, is one of the most frightening things that can happen to a person.

So, I decided to escape again. But this time I actually thought it out. To calm any fears of my escaping again and to make sure I had everything planned out right, I waited for a day or so. Then I lay in front of the door, Freedom, like I was unconscious from a torture session or something. So when the guard came to give me food, he could not come in. Nor was there any place to set the "food". So, being only an impatient stormtrooper, he kicked me. I didn't move. He kicked me again, harder, giving me a bruise. Still, I didn't flinch. He started to lean over me, to set the dish down.

_Then _I moved. I reached around his neck and pulled him off balance. His head thumped to the floor, inside my cell. I rolled over on top of him. He was struggling, trying to draw his blaster, but I slapped it out of his hand, bruising my wrist on the handle of it and sending it skittering across the floor. I yanked his helmet off, and bashed it against his head several times. He was still for a half-second. I snatched at the blaster lying on the floor. The stormtrooper scrambled to his feet and started to back out while flipping out his comlink. By then I had the blaster and I managed to stun him before he had his comlink on. Barely.

So far, my plan was working. I pulled of the guard's stormtrooper armor and put it on. I wondered if the drab grey clothing underneath the guard armor was uniform or if this trooper was just boring. I was about to put the helmet on when I noticed a tiny little problem. The helmet had a dent in it from my clubbing the trooper's head. Not huge, it was barely noticeable. So I started to put it on anyway. Then I realized it wouldn't fit over my hair. So I had to take my hair down and stuff it up in the helmet. By the time I finished with this, I was beginning to get nervous.

I made my way down the corridor to the main room of the detention center, trying hard not to look like an escaping prisoner. I saluted the man at the desk as I had seen one of my escorting guards do when I was being brought into the Death Star. Then, trying to walk like a stormtrooper I left.

Then I ran into another slight problem. I didn't know where the shipping bay was. That was the next part of my rather vague plan. To get to a ship leaving the Death Star and smuggle myself aboard. But I didn't know how to get there. So I decided to follow a group of nearby stormtroopers who happened to look like they were going somewhere. Normally, not a smart thing to do. But I was lucky. For once. They weren't going to the shipping dock, but they marched by it. I was about to turn into it when something happened. Darth Vader walked down the hall. _Straight toward me_. I continued to follow the troopers, trying to act natural and hoping not to be noticed. Vader passed me, and I breathed a silent relief. I walked farther, intending to turn around when Vader was a safe distance away.

Then I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I froze. The hand yanked me around to face the black-clad form of Darth Vader. " Where would you be headed, stormtrooper?" I could hear the sarcasm practically dripping from his voice, especially when he said "stormtrooper". "There is a dent in your helmet, Trooper TL385. Careless of you."

Vader didn't give me a chance to answer. Just ripped off my helmet, letting my loose, tangled hair fall out around my shoulders. Somehow, Vader's presence was clouding my mind, like last time I had tried to escape. I instinctively snatched at my blaster, which immediately flew out of my hand into his gloved hand. I panicked and turned to run.

I had only taken a few steps when I was slammed face-first into the floor. Gasping in air, I flipped over on my back. No one was standing near me, but I had felt like someone had pushed me down. Darth Vader was standing a few feet away, his hand stretched toward me. He pulled his hand closer to his armored chest and I suddenly realized I was sliding toward him. I gave a surprised yell and flailed for something to hold onto. I slid to a stop at his feet, looking up into his evil, masked face. Suddenly, though no one was near me except Vader, I felt myself yanked to my feet. Vader grabbed my arm. "Going somewhere, Princess?"

* * *

_Another feeble escape attempt by the Princess. I'll give her credit, she did get out of the cell banks disguised as a stormtrooper, and she made it all the way to the entrance of the docking bays. She might have escaped, but this time her powers betrayed her. I could feel the waves of fear and suspense and excitement radiating from her before I even saw her. Here is another good thing about her not having the Jedi training: she cannot hide her feelings from me._

_I had a dream about her last night._

_I dreamed it was really Padmé trapped in the cell. I dreamed it was Padmé that I had tortured. I dreamed it was Padmé that was scheduled to be brutally murdered._

_I dreamed I had killed Her._

_Again._

* * *

Ohh, Vader made me mad. How could he possibly have known it was me? That little dent couldn't possibly of given me away. There were at least three other troopers that had dents and scrapes in their armor. And how had he knocked me down? And then pulled me to him and yanked me to my feet? That wasn't natural. I searched my mind for any scrap of information on Darth Vader.

Second in command of the Empire…tall, black-armored…wore a respirator…why? Oh yeah, some ancient injury, just before the Emperor took over and established his New Order. I had done some personal research on the evil fiend ages ago, but could find next to nothing. At least, not on the legal sites. Finally, I managed to get into a site that wasn't exactly commonly visited. Whoever had posted it had not listed their name or any way to contact them. Why was I not surprised, considering the content?

It didn't have his given name, but it did have a little bit of background information. He grew up on Tatooine, as a slave. The most interesting part was next though. Vader had been a Jedi. He was a rogue Jedi. That explained a lot, if you knew anything about Jedi. And what child didn't know about the legendary knights of justice, with their supernatural powers and mystic wisdom?

Vader was a rogue. He used his ability to do good and twisted it around to evil. I never could understand why, and no real reason could be found. Of course, there were uncountable stories people had speculated on, everything from being coerced by the Emperor, to being possessed by some sort of spirit, to the sheer wickedness of his soul. I didn't know. But I had heard stories of the things he had done before I was even born. Awful things, beginning with helping the Emperor hunt down and destroy the Jedi, including the younglings. Vader had assisted in the subduing of the galaxy, resulting in the massacre of countless innocents. And most methods were neither legal nor merciful.

Vader is the picture of good gone wrong.

He had fought in some battle on a volcanic planet and been caught in the lava, which was the reason for his respirator that caused his raspy breathing.

I shuddered, thinking of the younglings that had been so brutally murdered. I had been born within days of the Emperor's take-over. I was deeply glad I had not been at the Temple, though I wouldn't have been anyway. Jedi powers? Me? Never. It was kinda spooky that I had been born the day of the coup. I wondered if my mother had somehow been involved in the events surrounding that, and something made her give birth too soon. I vaguely remembered my father, Bail Organa, saying I had been premature.

And now, seeing as how I had made two escape attempts, my door was permanently locked. No more food scraps. No more water, either. They were going to terminate me. Well, they were going to anyway, but apparently Grand Moff Tarkin had lost his patience and decided to get rid of me now. That was a pleasant thought. I had a feeling they weren't going to give me a quick-working, painless poison either. Tarkin took a certain twisted pleasure in torture, so I got the idea I was going to be tormented to death. The Empire is so humane.

For who-knows-how-long I sat there, doing nothing, thinking little, just sitting, waiting for my death. Then my eyes finally closed, and I mercifully slipped into a deep sleep, temporarily relieving my tortured mind and body. But only temporarily.

I woke up to Darth Vader standing over me.


	5. Broken

_**Note:** I actually ended up combining the previous chapter with another one, so make sure you've read ALL of "Escape Artist" before continuing!_

I wasn't sure how the Empire was planning to kill me, but I sure didn't expect them to take me to an observation room to do it. There were no needles, torture droids, or anything of that sort in the room. Just a bunch of buttons and lights.

And Alderaan. I could see it through the window. Alderaan. A big blue ball against the black vacuum of space with thousand of tiny silver stars in the background. Grey storm clouds and white clouds swirled across the green, brown, and blue surface of the planet itself.

I felt better just looking at it. Even the sight of my home was comforting. I could almost see the tall white spires of the capital city of Aldera, stretching into the blue heavens. I could almost imagine the white palace that had been my home. I could just see the face of my father, and of Obri, I could imagine the halls in my home, I could see my room, where I had spent my childhood. That room was my sanctuary. So many memories where there. I could see the snow topped mountains towering around the city. There was a certain little porch that I loved. There was a great mountain centered before it. The landscape there was absolutely gorgeous. I never felt so at home as I did when I was there. The surrounding mountains had always felt like my guardians.

But I didn't have time to think about that. Tarkin was in that room. I felt my blood run cold. I could never decide who I hated more, Tarkin or Vader.

"Governor Tarkin," I said coldly, " I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I came on board."

Tarkin gave a chilling laugh. "Charming to the last." He took a step forward and grabbed my chin. "You don't know how much it grieved me to sign the order to terminate your life."

I jerked away, out of his grip. Even his hand was freezing cold. " I'm surprised you had the courage to do it yourself." I practically spat at him.

He only gave me a strange look. "Princess Leia, before your execution, I would like you to join me for a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No one will dare defy the Emperor now." Uh-oh. This definitely did _not_ sound good.

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."

He ignored me. "In a way, you have decided the planet that will be destroyed first." Nope. Not good at all. I glanced at Alderaan. No way. He couldn't. He wouldn't dare. "Since you've been reluctant to provide us with the location of your hidden rebel base, we've decided to test this station's destructive power, on your home planet of Alderaan."

All my diplomacy, calmness, tact, and composure melted away in one instant of horror. "No! Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons! You can't possibly—"

"You would prefer another target? A military target? Then name the system!"

I could feel my breathing come in gasps.

No. He couldn't make me do this. I wouldn't. He couldn't. And yet here he was, doing it. But Alderaan was my _home_! I couldn't just stand by and watch it be destroyed! Would Tarkin really destroy it? Would he really destroy Alderaan?

Looking at his face, I knew he would. He would destroy my home, my life.

Tarkin took a step toward me. I stepped back, slamming against Vader. " I grow tired of asking this, so I'll ask one last time. Where is the Rebel base?"

I looked past Tarkin at Alderaan. My home. My world. My life. Or the Rebellion. The freedom of the galaxy. How could he make me make a decision like this? Either way meant death for countless people. And either way, it was my fault. I couldn't do either.

But that was exactly what Tarkin was making me decide.

"Dantooine." I lied, choosing a remote, uninhabited planet. We had a base there, but it had been deserted for a while. "They're on Dantooine." I bowed my head, pretending to hide my shame at my treachery. I knew that it wouldn't take the Empire long to find out I had lied, but hopefully by then I would be dead and Alderaan would be safe.

"There," Tarkin said. "You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable." Jerk. I couldn't believe these people. How could they possibly _do _things like this? Did they enjoy it?

Tarkin's next word turned my heart to ice.

"Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready."

"What!!!" I fairly screamed.

"You're _far_ too trusting," he replied calmly, an evilly amused tone in his voice. "Dantooine is too remote to provide an effective demonstration, but don't worry, we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."

"No!" I moved to fling myself at Tarkin, but Vader held me back, his gloved hand on my shoulder. I struggled once and limply gave up. I was frozen, staring at Alderaan. It floated; peacefully unaware of it's doom staring it in the face. I saw the deadly green beams of energy meet and merge into one gigantic shaft of destructive power and head straight for Alderaan. I couldn't look away. I watched in horror and shock as Alderaan shattered into nothingness. I staggered back, my breath rushing from my lungs.

For some reason, I could still feel Vader's hand on my shoulder, long after I had been escorted to my cell. I don't know why they didn't use the probe droid on me right away. I would have broken. I know it.

I barely noticed being escorted back to my cell. The Alderaanians had no warning. My father, my family, my friends, my childhood, my _life _had just been destroyed. Vader and Tarkin had destroyed me just as thoroughly as if they had killed me. And they knew that. And I hated them for it. I would never, _ever _forgive them for it.

I couldn't think of anything but Alderaan. Not the Rebellion, not Artoo, not Obi-Wan Kenobi, not the Death Star, not even my coming death. Nothing but Alderaan, my family and friends. I kept seeing my childhood. The good things and the bad. The times I got in trouble, laughing with my friends, crying when my mother died, anything and everything.

I remembered the time a few of my older cousin's and I went exploring. I wandered off by myself and got lost in a cave for all night and most of the next day. I thought of the time my family went to a resort by a lake and I fell in and would have drowned if one of my cousins hadn't seen me fall. I remembered the time I broke my arm when I fell on a paved sidewalk while chasing one of my friends. I thought of my cousin Palia's wedding just a few weeks ago. I remembered Sari, the adorable little one-year-old girl, child of my cousin Habin, and my constant companion in my last visit home. I thought of a thousand other things that I had done as a child and remembered a thousand other places and people I wanted to visit. I missed everything so much I wanted to cry. But I wouldn't. I hadn't cried since I was a child, and I wasn't a child any longer.

But not crying didn't mean I didn't miss my home and it didn't stop me from wishing I could be there again. With everyone I loved there too.

Perhaps I didn't cry out loud, but deep inside, I was sobbing.

I wished badly I hadn't ever joined the Rebellion. I wished badly that the Empire hadn't captured me. I wished a thousand other things had never happened. But they had. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn't change the past. Father. Obri. Palia. Sari. Habin. Cerath. Anat. How could they be dead?

Alderaan was gone. Vaporized. Blown into space dust and asteroid chunks. Before my very eyes. And it was my fault. _My fault. _ A whole world was gone. A whole civilization. And not just any world. My world. And it was my fault. _My fault._ My father, my cousins, my family and friends. Dead. _My fault._ Strangers, people I had never set eyes on. Dead. _My fault_. My world. My home. _My fault._

I almost wished I was dead too. How could I go on? Everything I had ever known as a child was gone. And it was all my fault. _**My fault.**_

_No._ I told myself. _No. The _Alliance_ needs you._

_But,_ I argued with myself, _I joined the Alliance to _save_ Alderaan. And I destroyed_ _it. _

_So now you have to save others from suffering the same fate._

_But I wanted to save _Alderaan.

_It's too late. Too late._

The words echoed in my head.

My mother used to tell me that pain makes you stronger. Well, it might eventually, but right after my home had been destroyed, the pain made me weak. So weak, so vulnerable.

Something my father told me once, was that there are three kinds of people in this world. Those who are broken, those who are bloodstained, and those who are innocent. The innocent are becoming fewer and fewer, especially with the Empire around.

I don't think I've ever escaped the blood that the Empire had been spilling since it took control. I've always had a feeling that I couldn't just run from the Empire. Somehow I had always been tied up in its fate.

I had always been one of the Bloodstained, even from my birth.

Now I was one of the Broken.


	6. The Anatomy of a Garbage Dump

***

I was alone, so alone. My father was gone, killed in the blast that took Alderaan. Obri was dead. My cousins were dead. My family was dead. My home was gone. The palace was gone. My world, my home, my _life_ had been destroyed. Everything I ever knew as a child was gone. Alone, so alone.

Tarkin had effectively killed me.

Tarkin had told me that I had determined the world that would be destroyed first. If I hadn't been on the Death Star, Alderaan would be there now. I couldn't get past the guilt and anger. Anger at the Empire, anger at the Death Star, anger at Tarkin, anger at Vader, and anger at myself. Tarkin. Tarkin did this. Tarkin killed my father, killed Obri. No, strike that. He _murdered_ them. _Massacred _them. _I_ hated him with all of my being.

And I was alone, so alone. There was nothing, no one left to share my fear, anger, and hatred, no one feel to feel what I was feeling. Alone, so alone.

I was sleeping on my bunk the day after Alderaan's annihilation, when Freedom slid open. Awakened by the noise, I sat up, expecting the entourage of stormtroopers accompanying Vader to escort me to my death. Instead, I got one trooper. Wasn't I special. I noticed that here was probably the only other human in the galaxy that was anywhere close to my height. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" I said sarcastically, half-hoping to get on his nerves.

The trooper cocked his head to one side. "Huh?" Then he straightened and said "Oh, the uniform." To my utter surprise, he pulled off his helmet, revealing a fair-haired boy, probably my age. "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you."

I was _so _confused. Was this some Imperial trick? I stood up. "You're _who_?" There was something strange about this boy, something familiar. Like I had seen him before. I seemed to have that feeling a lot these days.

I shrugged one shoulder, again feeling Vader's hand on my shoulder.

"I'm here to _rescue you_," the boy repeated, somewhat exasperated. "I've got your R2 unit, I'm here with Ben Kenobi."

My heart leapt. "Ben Kenobi! Where is he?" Could it be? Could Artoo really have made it? Could Kenobi really be here? I had forgotten about the little droid in the obliteration of Alderaan. I anxiously followed the boy—Luke?—into the hallway. We were unceremoniously met by a rain of blaster bolts. Oh joy. Had I finally escaped only to be captured with my rescuers five seconds later?

It was then I realized Luke-what's-his-face wasn't my only rescuer. There was another man, taller than me, (but everyone is taller than me), probably of Corellian, Alderaanian, or Sarubanite descent. There was a huge, furry, hairy, mop-looking, brown-and-black thing about two or three times my height. The man had brownish-blond hair and was dressed in stormtrooper armor like Luke. His back was to me, and he was shooting wildly into the smoke at the other end of the hallway. Exactly what kind of idiots had I been rescued by? I couldn't see Kenobi anywhere. Where was he? If these people had gone and let him get captured or killed—

"Can't get out that way." came the man's voice.

Good job, genius. "Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route." I pointed out, aggravated.

The man turned towards me, his very posture indicating this rescue had _not _been his idea.

But his eyes were the first thing I noticed. Emerald green iris's stared accusingly at me. I shook my head minutely, berating myself for my random thoughts. No time to be looking at eyes, Leia, no matter how captivating they are.

His next words dispelled any hopes I had these rescuers weren't merely accidental heroes that were actually idiots most of the time. "Maybe you'd like to get back in your cell, Your Highness."

Maybe I should grab that blaster out of your hands and shoot you. I could do it. I'm quick at stuff like that. And no one is ever prepared for it, since they think my small size would somehow put me at a disadvantage. They are dead wrong.

But I didn't have time for any more thoughts. The stormtroopers at the other end renewed their flood of blaster bolts. The four of us hugged the walls, Luke Cloudhead and I on one side, Captain Hotshot and The Great Mop on the other.

Luke started yelling into his comlink. "Threepio? Threepio! Is there any way other way out of the cell bay? We've been cut off! Threepio!" A pause. "What was that? I didn't catch you." The droid babbled something back and Luke announced that there wasn't any other way out. Duh. _I _could have told him _that_, based on my previous escape attempt. Apparently they forgot the statement "only escape route."?

"I can't hold them off forever! Now what?" Ooh, somebody's getting frustrated!

"Some rescue." I said. "You got in here but you don't have a plan for getting out."

"He's the brains, sweetheart," returned Green Eyes, nodding to Luke, tension in his voice. Brains? These two? Perish the thought!

"Well, I didn't—" Luke Birdstalker started to protest. I rolled my eyes and snatched Luke Flyhigh's stormtrooper blaster out of his hands. He didn't react, just sort of stared at me, drop-jawed and bug-eyed. Was I sure this boy wasn't younger than me? Like, ten years younger? You'd think this guy grew up in the middle of nowhere the way he was awed by so little.

I was tempted to blast Green Eyes. But I restrained myself. I spotted the grate next to my cell, the one I saw on my first escape attempt. The one that led to the garbage chute. I blasted it open and smiled at Captain Steamheat's expression. His eyes widened and flashed. Was that a little smoke coming out of his ears?

"What are you doing?!" He yelled over the din of blaster bolts, as I darted across the hall, blaster beams dangerously close to my head. Actually, he was much more crude. I'm being nice. Even though Hotshot doesn't deserve any sort of politeness.

"Somebody has to save our skins!" I returned angrily, letting a little of my frustration out on him. I turned and tossed Luke Cloudhead's blaster back to him, then turned back to Green Eyes. "Into the garbage chute, flyboy!" I called to him, before following my own advice.

I smelled the garbage long before I hit it. I'm glad I was the first one down, cause my landing was not pretty. The first wave of the stench almost made me throw up. I heard a rustle and a roar and moved out of the way just in time to save myself from being squashed by The Great Mop. He showed his teeth at me for a moment as he caught the smell. Hee hee. Nice doggie. I didn't like the looks of those arms. I might me strong for my smallish size, but I had a feeling if I got on The Great Mop's wrong side my arms and legs would not still be attached to my torso.

I glanced around the garbage chamber, trying to distinguish a door or window or outlet of some sort. I stepped down onto what I thought was the floor and suddenly discovered I was foundering through thigh-high liquid. It remarkably resembled the water I had been given as my prison ration.

I finally spotted a door on the far end of the chamber, and by the time Luke had made it down, I discovered it was locked. What else did I expect? I was a bit disappointed to find the water only made it to Luke's knees. I hate being short.

Luke motioned me aside, away from the door, and took aim with his blaster. I heard a ping as the bolt ricocheted of the door and bounced around the room, nearly singing the fur off of The Great Mop and burning a hole in the sleeve of my Senatorial gown, before it crackled to a stop in a pile of garbage. I climbed onto one of the many heaps of the smelly stuff, no longer desiring to wade in the reeking soup that I was certain had been in my water dish.

Half a moment after Luke's bolt sputtered into nothingness, Green Eyes joined us with a loud yell and a groan as he hit the garbage. "The garbage chute was a really wonderful idea," he told me sarcastically, "and what an incredible smell you've discovered." I ignored the rude comments and hugged a pile of garbage. I'd bet anything that Captain Hotshot was a smuggler or pirate, the way he treated superiors with such disrespect and contempt. Yep, I'd bet on a pirate.

The liquid barely made it halfway up Green Eyes shins. Imagine that.

"I'm getting out of here." Green Eyes muttered angrily, aiming his blaster at the door. "Get away from there." he told Hairball.

"No wait!" shouted Luke, but either Green Eyes didn't hear or ignored him because we were all nearly killed again. "Would you forget it! I already tried it! It's magnetically sealed!" Luke roared after the flash sizzled into a pile of garbage.

"Put that thing away you're going to get us all killed!" I matched his tone. I was through with these people.

Green Eyes picked me to come down on. "Absolutely, Your Worship," he said caustically, then changed his tone just as suddenly, "Look! I had everything under control until you let us down here!" I felt my temper flare but kept silent, though I have no doubt my eyes were shouting stories. Control! My foot!

"It could be worse." was all I said, once again trying to get higher on the trash pile.

Then a horrible groan echoed through the chamber. All four of us froze, looking everywhere for the source. Suddenly I wasn't so sure the garbage chute was such a good idea. "It's worse," announced Green Eyes.

"There is something _alive_ in here." Luke said.

"That's your imagination." Green Eyes responded, sounding like he didn't believe himself.

I didn't believe him either. I inched higher on the trash.

"Something just moved past my leg." Luke sounded uneasy, as he and Steamheat were still standing in my drinking water. A few moments later he cried, "Look! Did you see that?" I hadn't seen it, but I had the peculiar feeling that whatever it was, it was alive, it was hungry, and it was definitely there.

The room was so silent I could hear my heart pounding. We all looked around, watching for any movement. Nothing moved. Perhaps it had gone.

A roar filled the room I turned just in time to see a large, brown tentacle wrap itself around Luke's legs and see Luke throw his arms into the air before he disappeared beneath the thigh-deep liquid.

"Luke!" I heard myself scream.

"Luke!" Green Eyes joined my cry, fishing in the water where Luke had been a moment ago. "Luke!" I was terrified. My heart was pumping a mile a minute. I could almost feel the essence of the creature. No soul, no conscious thought, only a prospect of food. But it was threatening Luke's life. No matter how Cloudheaded he may be, he didn't deserve death at the hands—or tentacles—of a mindless predator in a garbage chamber.

Another roar, and Luke reappeared, the tentacle now wrapped around his throat and spiraling down his body. I almost threw up at the sight. "Luke! I yelled, " Luke, grab hold of this." I tried to hold a long pole out to him. Green Eyes grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him up. "Blast him, Han, my gun's jammed." Luke chocked out.

"Where?"

"Anywhere!"

Green Eyes sent a few bolts into the brown tentacle, careful not to miss and hit any of the magnetically sealed walls. The tentacle partially let go and Green Eyes hauled Luke to his feet. Luke lost his balance and was pulled under again.

"Luke!" I cried.

"Luke!" Green Eyes shouted. Furball roared. Hot tears pricked my eyes, but they didn't fall. I had only known Luke a little while and he already felt like a brother. A terrible silence filled the room.

There was a creaking noise around the walls. I heard a splash and whirled around to find Luke spluttering for breath near Green Eyes. "Grab him!" I shouted at Green Eyes. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Luke gasped, choking. "It let go of me and disappeared." A foreboding feeling filled my mind. Things like this creature didn't just "disappear".

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Green Eyes commented unnecessarily.

We heard another groan and the walls jerked. Wait a minute. The _walls_ jerked? A loud whine filled the room. "The walls are closing in!" Luke sounded surprised. The garbage compressor. The Imperials must have figured out where we had gone. Took 'em long enough. Green Eyes, The Great Mop, and Luke Cloudhead just stood there like a couple of idiots. "Don't just stand there!" I shrieked at them. "Try and brace it with something!" I grabbed a large, thick pole and tried to pick it up. "Help me!"

Hotshot shook himself, grabbed the pole I held, and started to help me. Luke was looking around, trying to find something else. The Mop pounded on the door, all his superhuman strength failing miserably.

Luke suddenly halted in his search and started yelling into his comlink at the droids.

The pole Green Eyes and I were using warped and twisted. Finally we had to give up on it. All of us now resorted getting higher on the moving piles of garbage. "Get on top of it!" Green Eyes tried to help me up.

I slipped. "I'm trying!"

All my drinking water drained away into unseen outlets in the floor, probably to be funneled to the other prisoners to drink.

"One thing's for sure, we are all going to be a lot thinner." grumbled Green Eyes. I _really _was not in the mood for humor. What good was I going to do the Rebellion squashed in an Imperial garbage dump? The Huge Carpet was able to reach both walls and actually stilled them, but only for a half-second.

Green Eyes seemed to have dubbed himself my bodyguard. "Climb higher!" I kept slipping. "I can't!" He should try climbing a pile of wet, moving garbage in a dress. It isn't as easy as it sounds. Finally, with Green Eyes help, I made it to the top. Not that it helped much. Just stalled my death by a few moments.

I felt like screaming in fury at the walls. Our impending doom moved closer and closer, the mechanism grinding loudly. My breath was coming in agonized gasps. I tried to breath calmly, but couldn't think slowly enough.

The walls came closer and closer. Now even _I_ could touch both walls, short as I was.

I imagined my coming death, brown walls pressing in on my vision, compressing my ribs until they cracked, bones breaking, muscles tearing…

Then the walls stopped moving.


	7. Freedom

At first, I thought I had just died. I was still suspended between the walls, back against one and feet against the other. My ribs were safe. My breath came out in a rush and I sank my feet back to the still quivering pile of garbage. I heard Green Eyes, Furball and Luke give yells of triumph, and I couldn't help but join them. Luke shouted, "You did it!" to the droids and I threw my arms around Green Eye's neck.

When he hugged back I suddenly realized what I was doing and stepped away. Green Eyes himself looked a little taken aback but he was still grinning lopsidedly and I let my own smile spread over my face.

Amid shouts of delight and relief, Luke read the number above the door to Threepio, and the droids opened the door and slowly directed us down the corridor to a deserted room.

There I was properly introduced to Green Eyes and The Great Mop as Captain Han Solo and Chewbacca the Wookie. Solo was a Corellian smuggler (an outlaw, I knew it) and the captain of a small freight called the _Millennium Falcon. _ Chewbacca (known as Chewie) was Solo's first mate.

Luke and Solo abandoned their stormtrooper armor. (Except for the utility belts) "Now," Captain Steamheat Solo began, "If we can avoid any more _female_ advice, we just might be able to get out of here." Jerk. Some "knight in shining armor" come to rescue the "damsel in distress". Well this "damsel" could take care of herself, thank you very much.

"Then let's get movin'." Wow, Luke, thanks for your support. I was about to reply angrily when an alarm blared. Chewie panicked, ran a few (large, Wookie-sized) steps down the hall, and refused to budge. (I later learned that Wookie's have sensitive ears)

Solo aimed his blaster at the control panel. "No wait, they'll hear!" I cried. He ignored me and blasted it. "Come here you big coward," commanded Solo to the Wookie. The big furball shook his head. "Chewie come here."

I jumped in front of him. It was time to show these people who was the princess, and who was the smuggler and outlaw. "Listen, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, but from _now_ on, you listen to me." I started to take the lead, but Solo wasn't put down so easily.

"Listen, Princess, I take orders from just one person, me."

I turned toward him, with an air of poise and refine. "It's a wonder you're still alive." I retorted. "Will somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?" I brushed past Chewie, with only a slight twinge of guilt for the creature. It wasn't his fault Solo was a jerk.

"No reward is worth this!" I heard Solo exclaim. I smiled to myself. Nothing could please me more than getting on the nerves of Captain Hotshot. Except maybe killing Vader and Tarkin.

The two droids, 3P0 and R2, gave us directions to where the _Falcon_ was impounded in the shuttle bays. We rushed onward, always on our guard for stormtroopers and other Imperial cronies. The halls were strangely empty. Not a stormtrooper in sight. With a prisoner and intruders loose, you'd think the place would be crawling with soldiers. But the corridors were deserted. I glanced around at my new companion's faces. No one else seemed to think the emptiness strange. I sighed, wishing Kenobi was here. He was a General and a Jedi Knight, after all. But Luke had told me that he had gone to get the tractor beam out of commission. I nearly flipped when he told me Kenobi had gone off _alone_.

Finally, we arrived at a window overlooking the _Falcon_. I couldn't believe my eyes. What a piece of junk! I had never seen that type of freighter before, and it looked ancient. It was circular and flattish, like a disk of some sort, with projections all over it. It was a dull brown, and on the front of the disk-like ship, it split into twin forks. The cockpit was a tinted dome on the right side. I couldn't believe they had actually made it all the way from Tatooine in that thing. It didn't look like it could get off the ground, much less evade Imperial cruisers. I turned to Solo, a sliver of respect forming in my voice. "You flew in _that_ thing? You're braver than I thought."

Solo did not appreciate the remark. "Nice. Come on."

We were rushing along a corridor when we walked right into a whole squad of Imperials. At first I thought it was a trap, but by the stormtroopers expressions, they had no idea we were even aboard the Death Star. Before I had time to react, Chewie roared at the soldiers. They must have been startled, for to my utter surprise, they turned tail and ran, Solo running headlong after them. "Get back to the ship!" he yelled as he disappeared down the corridor, Chewie behind him.

"He certainly has courage." I admitted to Luke.

"What good is it going to do him if it gets him killed?" Luke sensibly replied. I shook myself. Of course Luke was right. It wasn't courage as much as stupidity. If those troopers decided to turn around, Solo would be no match for them, even with the monstrous form of Chewbacca beside him.

Luke Cloudhead and I started back towards the _Falcon_. We got some more troopers on our tail, and apparently didn't follow 3P0's directions as well as we thought, because we ended up on a tiny platform with nothing but a dark pit before us. I started to turn around, but the stormtroopers were there, raising their blasters to shoot. I don't know how they missed us, but they did, and I had time to dive at the controls. I tried to find the switch that would lock the door, but couldn't find it. "There's no lock!"

Luke Birdstalker grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the controls. He aimed his stormtrooper blaster at the panel and shot. The panel exploded in fiery sparks. "There." Luke seemed proud of himself. "That outta hold them for a while."

Ok, but not forever. "Quick, we've got to get across. Find the controls that extend the bridge!"

Luke glanced at his handiwork. "I think I just blasted it."

I felt myself starting to panic as I thought of those torture sessions with Vader. I shrugged my shoulder, again feeling his gloved hand on my shoulder as Alderaan was destroyed. "They're coming through!"

My words echoed around the walls of the rift.

A fleeting sense of premonition made me duck the red blaster bolt aimed at my head. Several stormtroopers stood a level above, raining blaster bolts down on us. Luke was instantly firing back. One trooper screamed and fell into the abyss. "Here, hold this." Luke handed the blaster to me and started messing with something on his utility belt.

I started blasting away at the stormtroopers left on the ridge. The door behind us shot open a few inches. One opposite us fell backwards, shot. There was one left, but Luke was ready. He had attached one of the hooks to a cable line, then tossed the hook so that it wrapped around a pipe on the ceiling. "Good luck." I told him and kissed his cheek. Hanging onto him for dear life, Luke jumped off the narrow ridge and swung to the other side. The wind tore at my hair and clothes, and the dark rift loomed threateningly below. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

We made it across just as the door we had been at a few moments ago shot open. I still had the blaster and fired a few shots before we left. Luke and I made it to the doorway closest to the _Falcon_. Solo and Chewie were waiting for us. "What kept ya?"

"We ran into some more friends." I answered sarcastically.

Solo once again ignored me and said, "She seems to be alright if we can get to her. I just hope that old man got the tractor beam out of commission." It took me a second to figure out "she" was the _Falcon_ and "that old man" was Kenobi. Luke called Threepio who reported that he and Artoo where across the hanger. We were watching the _Falcon, _trying to see the best time to make a dash for it. Suddenly, the stormtroopers guarding the ship saw something and moved toward it and away from the _Falcon_. "Okay, lets go." Solo directed.

Taking the opportunity, we darted across the bay towards the _Falcon_. Something caught Luke's eye, and he halted, taking a few steps in the same direction as the stormtroopers. "Ben?" I heard him exclaim incredulously. I turned to look.

Two figures stood in the doorway, one robed in brown, and the other in black. I was startled to see both bore lightsabers, one red, the other blue. It was Vader and Kenobi, locked in a battle to the death.

Kenobi heard Luke's voice, and glanced up at him, smiling. The old man raised his blue saber up in front of his face. I nearly cried out in terror as Vader swept his red blade across the Jedi's shoulders, killing him instantly. Kenobi's robe and lightsaber fell to the ground, empty of a body.

"No!" Luke shouted.

The cry startled the stormtroopers and they whirled around and instantly red flashes were whirling past my head, dangerously close to making contact.

"Luke! Come on!" Solo and I both cried. Chewie roared. Luke was still hesitating to join us, undoubtedly seeking revenge for Kenobi.

"Luke! It's too late!" I shouted.

"Blast the door, kid!" Solo added. Luke did so, closing the blast doors blocking the approaching Vader from aiding the guards. Luke took one last glance and ran aboard. Solo rushed into the cockpit. The _Falcon_ roared to life and we were off.

I was wandering aimlessly around the ship when I noticed Luke looking rather depressed. I found a blanket and put it around his shoulders and sat beside him. Both of us were silent for a moment.

"I can't believe he's gone." Luke and Kenobi must have become good friends in a very short time. I knew how he felt about his loss. More than he knew. My home had been destroyed. He had lost a friend. And yet, I didn't really know what to say. "There wasn't anything you could have done." I finally ventured. I wished I could have done something about Alderaan.

Suddenly I remembered what I had told Luke when Kenobi was killed. _"Luke! Luke it's too late!"_ That was what I had thought when Alderaan was destroyed. _"Too late." _ Too late for Kenobi, too late for Alderaan. _Too late. It's too late._

I jumped when Solo charged in. "Come on, where not out of this yet." Solo climbed a ladder to the upper gun well while Luke took the lower one. I joined Chewie in the cockpit. Four TIE fighters screamed overhead. I jumped in surprise. I could hear the turbolasers exchanging fire. Chewie maneuvered the _Falcon_ in sharp turns and dives that made my stomach flip. One of the fighters got a good hit on us. "We lost the lateral controls!" I cried to Solo.

"Don't worry. She'll hold together." I hoped so. "Baby, baby, hold together." I heard him mutter under his breath. Comforting.

"They're coming in too fast!" Luke cried.

Solo blasted the first one.

In a few moments, another blew, hit by Luke. "I got one! I got one!"

"Great, kid! Don't get cocky!"

"There's still two more out there!" I reminded them that the danger wasn't over yet. Luke blasted another TIE, which exploded in a huge ball of flame. My stomach was still flipping, but I tried to help Chewie. The _Falcon_'s controls were similar the other ships I had been on, even if the ship itself wasn't.

The last TIE fighter wasn't slacking off. After a few tense moments, Solo finally blasted him. "We did it!" shouted Luke.

"We did it!" I echoed his cry and threw my arms around Chewie.

I was alive, I was on my way back to the Rebellion, and I was free.

* * *

_Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan has escaped._

_Or so she thinks._

_Ah, but my precious prisoner with the mysterious Jedi powers is no Jedi. She doesn't know that there is a homing beacon aboard the hull of that strange smuggler's ship. She doesn't know that she will do us more good free than a prisoner._

_She doesn't know she is leading us straight to her precious rebel friends._

_I told Tarkin she would never consciously betray the Rebellion. So now she is betraying her friends, she just doesn't know it._

_For all of her strong will and Jedi power, she is so completely helpless._


	8. Conversations and Visions

A few minutes later, the Wookie left and Solo joined me in the cockpit. "Not a bad bit of rescuing, hey, Princess?" he bragged as he pulled off his gloves. "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." He sat in the co-pilot's chair next to yours truly.

I leaned forward, "That doesn't sound to hard. They let us go. It's the only reason for the ease of our escape."

"Easy! You call that easy?" Yes I call that easy! Why do you think those troopers turned tail and ran when we met them in the halls? Why do you think we barely ran into any soldiers? Why do you think we escaped at all? Vader was there. We wouldn't have escaped unless he let us. Do you have brains in that thick skull of yours or is it just air?

"They're tracking us."

"Not this ship, sister." Ugh! This guy had given me about all I could take. I felt like shouting at him to quit calling me 'sister' and 'sweetheart'. Who did he think he was?

I sighed. "At least the information in Artoo is still intact. "

"What's so important? What's he carrying?" I tried not to focus on those green eyes of his.

"The technical readouts of that battle station. I only hope that when the data's analyzed a weakness can be found." I shook my head. "It's not over yet."

"It is for me, sister." Solo retorted. "I ain't in this for your Revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid, I'm in it for the money."

I thought of the thousands of people who had courageously lived and served for the Rebellion, never asking for a cent. Most of them had died.

"You needn't worry about your reward." I bit out. Solo made me so _angry_! "If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive." I got up and stalked out, meeting Luke at the doorway. "Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything." I told him. "Or anybody." I added, unsure why I was so bitter about it.

"I care." Luke said lamely.

I stopped just outside door when I heard Luke say to Solo, "So, what do you think of her, Han?"

"I'm tryin' not to, kid."

"Good." Both were silent a moment.

"Still, she's got a lot of spirit." Solo paused. "I don't know. You think a princess and a guy like me—"

"No." Luke interrupted. I promptly walked away, disgusted. The nerve of that man. A princess and an outlaw. I felt like throwing up. Then again, I was an outlaw too, since I was with the Rebellion. But I was still a princess. _With no kingdom._ It occurred to me that since Alderaan was gone, I wasn't a princess. Not really. But it didn't matter. Captain Han Solo wasn't a match for Princess Leia Organa. Or maybe just Leia Organa now. I bit my lip, thinking of my father.

Later, I asked Luke how Chewie and Solo came to work together. I didn't tell him this, but I couldn't see why the kind-hearted creature would want to. Luke explained that many Wookie's, including Chewie, had been captured, and enslaved by the Empire. Han had rescued him from the Empire, and according to the Wookie culture, Chewie owed him a life debt. Han really _was_ braver than I thought. My rescue wasn't the first time Han had dealt with Imperials. Another sliver of respect formed in my mind.

I also asked Luke how _he _had come to be with Han. Luke explained that, until recently he had lived with his uncle and aunt on a moisture farm on Tatooine. Boy did _that _sound boring. His uncle bought Artoo and Threepio from a group of Jawa's. While cleaning Artoo, Luke had run across a fragment of my message to Kenobi. (his voice quavered slightly when he mentioned Ben) Luke had taken the restraining bolt off of Artoo, hoping to get the rest of my message. He was interrupted when his aunt called him for dinner and when he came back Artoo was gone. By then, it was too dark to search, so in the morning he and Threepio went to look for him. They had just found the little droid when a group of Tusken Raiders attacked them. Luke was knocked unconscious, and would have died, if Obi-Wan Kenobi (or Ben Kenobi) hadn't come along and scared them off. Ben took Luke and the droids back to his house where Luke learned that his father was a Jedi who had been killed by Darth Vader. He wasn't the only one whose father had been murdered by Vader. Mine had.

Ben found my message on Artoo. After watching it, Ben had wanted Luke to go with him to Alderaan (I felt my throat tighten at the mention of my home) and learn the ways of the Force. (apparently Luke had Jedi abilities) Luke wasn't going to, but when they were on their way back to Luke's house, they ran across a burned out sandcrawler. Dead Jawa's were everywhere. Gaffi sticks and bantha tracks made Luke believe that sand people had done it. Ben found out otherwise. Imperial stormtroopers had done it, to get the droids, Artoo and Threepio. Luke rushed home (his voice quavered here) to find out that his home had been burned and his aunt and uncle murdered. He had then returned to Ben and decided to go with him to Alderaan.

They went to Mos Eisley and there met Han and Chewie. They had to blast there way out of the space port and then had to outrun a couple of Star Destroyers.

Midway during their flight, Ben had felt a disturbance in the force. Ben had said he felt as if, "millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced."

"Alderaan." I breathed. That _had_ to have been what Ben felt. The voices of my people, crying out in terror. My fathers voice. Obri's voice.

Luke, Han, Chewie, Ben, and the droids arrived at Alderaan only to find out it wasn't there. Only asteroids. The shards of Alderaan. They followed a TIE fighter, trying to destroy it so it couldn't tell anyone they were there, and were caught in the Death Star's tractor beam. They hid in the smuggling compartments aboard the _Falcon_ and recorded on the ship's log that the whole journey had been a decoy and that they had taken off in the escape pods just after launch. Luke and Han, emerging from their hiding spot, stunned a few stormtroopers, took their armor, and sneaked into a control room. Artoo plugged into a console, and found out where the tractor beam was. Kenobi left to take care of it. Then Artoo found out I was there. It was no surprise to me to find that Han had not wanted to come rescue me. Even when Luke told him they were going to kill me, all Han said was, "Better her than me." Typical smuggler. Han finally relented when Luke told him that I was a princess and that meant I was rich. That was when they disguised Chewie as a prisoner and "escorted" him to the detention block, killed the guards and "rescued" me. Heroes my foot.

Then Luke shrugged and said, "You know the rest."

After he finished, Luke showed me his lightsaber. He told me it had belonged to his father. He handed it to me, and I took it, rather reverently. I didn't ignite it, feeling it would somehow be illicit to do so. My hands suddenly felt cold as they closed around the hilt. I nearly dropped it as a feeling of evil, fear, and pain washed over me. My vision suddenly went dark. Then I could see, but not very well. Everything was blurry and diluted. A thousand different images flashed before my eyes in a chaotic mess. I picked out a face that I recognized. It was almost exactly as I remembered it from my earliest memories.

My mother. My real mother.

But now she looked healthy, standing and talking, though her face bore a pained expression.

There was another face too, that I recognized instantly. It was Bail Organa, my adoptive father. He was younger too, hair less grey, fewer wrinkles around his eyes. Hot tears pricked at my eyes but the scene changed and he disappeared.

Now there were many faces, none of which I recognized. A short green alien with a wrinkled face and a few white wisps of hair. He was leaning on a knotted staff. And I thought _I_ was short. This guy wouldn't have made it to my waist.

There was a tall dark-skinned man, with his head shaved bald, and a tall humanoid alien with a cone-shaped head.

The face that appeared most frequently was a man, of average height, with blondish-orange hair and a beard. I instinctively realized this was Obi-wan Kenobi, but much younger. I recognized his eyes, and the way he stood.

Face upon face flashed before me, too many to remember except for the above mentioned. I wanted another glimpse of my mother, or my adoptive father, but none was forthcoming.

The dark-skinned man with the shaved head appeared again, his face twisted in a snarl and a purple lightsaber raised. He swung his lightsaber at me. I screamed, but couldn't seem to move. The lightsaber vaulted over my head and arched downward towards me, only a split second from severing my head from my body, but still I couldn't move, I simply stood, screaming and trying to force my muscles to move but it was too late, any moment that purple saber would be felt…

Then I was back in the _Falcon_, Luke staring at me strangely, and the lightsaber hilt on the floor. I realized I was still crying out in terror, so I snapped my mouth shut and tried to take a deep breath. Embarrassed for dropping the hilt of the saber, I picked it up and handed it to Luke. I squeezed my hands together to keep them from shaking.

"What was that about?" Luke finally ventured.

I tried to slow my heavy breathing. "I don't know... I saw, I saw Obi-wan. And… and others." For some reason, I didn't want to tell Luke anything else. Not even about seeing my mother. Especially about seeing my mother.

Luke looked at the lightsaber in his hands and looked disappointed he didn't see Ben Kenobi. "Why did you scream?"

"Somebody…a man…was trying to kill me. He…he had a lightsaber."

"Ben?" Luke queried.

"No. He was tall, and black, with a shaved head…" I trailed off when I realized Luke was looking at me as if I was crazy.

Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I was going insane.

Solo and Chewie appeared, Solo holding his blaster at the ready and Chewie with his crossbow ready to fire. The Wookie roared something and Solo looked confused.

"What the matter with you?" He asked me, realizing no one was there.

"She said she saw—" Luke began.

"It was nothing." I interrupted frigidly. "Just a…dream."

"A dream? When you're wide awake?"

I gave him my infamous killing look. Solo shrugged his shoulders and muttered something under his breath about women. He tucked his blaster into the holster and turned back to the cockpit. Chewie and Luke followed him.

When they finally left, I sank to the floor, my face in my hands. I still had that haunting picture of my mother imprinted on my memory. Despite the fact that she looked physically healthy, her beautiful face was contorted in sorrow. She looked as if her heart were about to break. I couldn't see clearly anything around her, but I got the distinct impression of heat and red light. There was a vague impression of a ship behind her. I remembered her face again, then suddenly felt Vader's icy hand on my shoulder. It made me think of the destruction of Alderaan. I shuddered, suddenly cold. Her face, I could still see her face…Alderaan…Vader…my mother…

My thought's whirled until I thought I would scream.


	9. How the World Came to An End

Luke apparently got over his impression that I was going insane, for we had another long talk. I told Luke that Bail Organa, the Viceroy of Alderaan, had adopted me. I didn't know my real father at all, not even his name. Same for my mother. I knew how Luke felt when his uncle and aunt were murdered. The Empire had destroyed Alderaan.

I told Luke other thing too, stories of my childhood, things I had done with the Rebellion, and even what happened aboard the Death Star. Skipping my earliest memories, which didn't make much sense anyway, even to me, I moved to the time I had spent growing up on Alderaan. I told him about my guardian mountains, the balcony leading from my chambers, the clear pool of water before it, Obri, my father the Senator Bail Organa, even some memories of my adopted mother before she died. I could feel the hate growing in my voice as I came to my capture and torture aboard the Death Star. I choked when I came to Alderaan's destruction and had to pause my story for a minute to keep from crying. I skipped my first escape attempt to avoid the part about the blaster bolt hitting my hand without harming me. I also edited the feeling I often had about _knowing_ Vader and that I could still sometimes feel Vader's hand on my shoulder. Luke had enough reason already to think I was mad. I didn't need to add anything to his list.

I liked talking to Luke. For the first time since Alderaan's annihilation, I was not feeling quite so alone.

We sat in silence for moment. Then I convinced Luke to give me a tour of the ship. (I would rather have one from him than Captain Steamheat) We did so, and I saw the cabin, the galley (where we confiscated a snack), the engines and everything in between. Finally, we returned to the cockpit.

"Where have you two been?" Solo asked me.

"Getting better acquainted and having a tour of your ship." I replied.

"Shouldn't _I_ be the one to give tours?"

"You were obviously to busy."

Solo scowled. I smiled amiably. Chewie growled something and Han translated, "Coming up on Yavin." The starlines outside the dome of the cockpit faded into stars. The huge, orange-yellow form of the gas planet Yavin filled our view. The _Falcon_ orbited the planet quickly and approached the blue-green moon on the other side, where the secret Rebel base was.

It never once crossed my mind to be nervous about bringing Han and Luke to the base. I never thought they would betray us. Luke was too naïve and too principled to even think of such a thing, and I believed there was a very loyal heart underneath all the bluster Solo hid under. Besides, most smugglers weren't heroes in any sense of the word. (not that I considered Han a hero. Ugh. ) It was amazing he had actually bothered to rescue, first, Chewie, and now, me. If he hadn't ditched the Wookie by now, that by itself was claim to the fact Solo did in fact have a heart. If the wretched smuggler even knew it himself.

The _Falcon_ entered the atmosphere of Yavin Four, and I was overjoyed to see the top of the huge stone temple that was currently serving as our base. I even forgot that irritating feeling that we were being tracked, a fatal mistake as I would soon see. We were briefly challenged by a scout-ship, but when they heard my voice (and scanned it for a fake) we were allowed to land without hindrance. As soon as the _Falcon_ touched the ground, I was off it, looking eagerly for a familiar face. Not that there were many strange faces either.

"Princess Leia!" I heard many voices gasp. "Look! It's the Princess!" It was good to be in the only place left I could call home. I flagged down one of the cargo pilots nearby, and he agreed to take Solo, Luke, Chewbacca, the two droids, and I to the main control center.

The commander hugged me briefly. "You're safe." he said concernedly. "When we heard about Alderaan, we feared the worst."

"We have no time for our sorrows, Commander." I said, choking down the lump that rose in my throat at the mention of Alderaan. "You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack."

"It's our only hope."

***

The Death Star was coming.

The Death Star itself. I was right. There was a tracking device aboard the _Falcon_. Han hadn't believed me, and now the entire galaxy would pay. Not that I could give Han all the blame. It was partly my fault too, and Luke's and Chewie's. We should have known. I knew. But I hadn't believed myself.

The Empire was coming for us. The Death Star was on the other side of Yavin. It couldn't take any more than thirty minutes for them to be in range.

In thirty minutes, the Death Star would be destroyed, crippling the Empire; or Yavin Four would be annihilated, the Rebellion along with it.

In thirty minutes, the freedom of the galaxy would be decided.

I was sitting in the briefing room, standing to the right of a screen displaying the layout of the Death Star. Han was lounging against the corner wall and Luke, though not in uniform, was sitting with the fighter pilots.

Luke was going to fly an X-wing in an attempt to destroy the Death Star, while Han took his reward and left the galaxy to it's fate. Left the Rebellion. Left me. I shook my head. What did it matter? Han was a smuggler. He cared for himself.

Commander began his speech. "An analysis provided by Princess Leia, (he pronounced my name with a long "e". I hate it when people do that. My name is pronounced with a long "a" sound) has shown that the defenses of the Death Star are primarily against a direct large-scale attack. A small, one-man, fighter _should _be able to penetrate the outer defense."

A pilot I didn't recognize said, "Pardon me, sir, but what good are stunt fighters going to do against _that_?" Insubordination. Not that I could blame him. I wasn't the most compliant person in the galaxy.

"The Empire doesn't consider a small, one-man fighter to be of any threat, or they would have a tighter defense." The image on the screen zoomed in and shifted focus. "You are required to maneuver down this trench to this point. The target area is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The target is only two meters wide. It leads to the reactor system. A precise hit _should_ start a chain reaction that will destroy the station. Only a precise hit will start off a chain reaction."

Wedge Antilles, sitting next to Luke exclaimed, "That's impossible, even for a computer."

Luke turned to him, but I didn't catch what he said over the droning voice of the commander.

"…then man your stations. And may the Force be with you." The pilots got up to leave.

I was walking in the hanger when I noticed Luke. He looked depressed. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, it's Han. I really thought he'd change his mind." I wished he would too.

"He's got to follow his own path, no one can choose it for him." Ok, maybe I sounded wise, but inside, I wanted to strangle that stupid, selfish smuggler.

"I only wish Ben were here." I wished that too. A Jedi would know what to do to get Han—I mean Solo—to stay. I impulsively kissed Luke's cheek, and made my way to the control room, where there was a large battle console, showing the Death Star.

By the time all thirty Rebel fighters were away, there was fifteen minutes until the galaxy's fate would be decided.

There were thirty Rebel fighters against the Death Star. Thirty. This was suicide.

Every single one of the fighters appeared as a little blue dot on the battle console. As the fighters approached the Death Star, I heard Wedge's voice. "Look at the _**size**_ of that thing." I silently agreed.

"Cut the chatter Red Two."

The attack began. "I'm going to cut across the surface and try and draw their fire." Came the voice of one of the pilots. The fighters curved across the surface.

For a little while, no fighters went down. A solemn voice from someone down at the base said, "Rebel fighters, we've picked up a new group of signals: enemy fighters coming your way." The TIE fighters came out, seemingly from nowhere. The enemy fighters were little red dots on the screen. A Y-wing blew, hit. Then an X-wing. Another Y-wing. Three Y-wings broke off from the group and headed for the trench. Two more X-wings vanished from the console and Luke's X-wing disappeared behind a heavy fire zone. I gasped. _Luke!_

"Red Five, where are you?" Commander's voice, next to me. I held my breath.

"I can't shake him!" Luke's voice. I breathed again.

"I'm on him, Luke." Wedge said.

A few seconds of tense firing and Luke was free.

Another voice. "Base One, this is Gold Leader lost Tyree, lost Hutch,"

"I copy Gold Leader."

"It came from behin—" Another blip vanished. I bit my lip, feeling somehow it was my fault.

"Luke! Are you all right?!" a pilot's voice came.

"I got a little cooked, but I'm okay. Artoo, see what you can do with it." _Come on, Luke, hang in there… _

_Who do you think you are? It's your fault he's out there in the first place.  
No it isn't. _

_Sure it is. _You_ knew the _Falcon_ was being tracked. But no, you had to let the Empire follow you to the base._

_Luke would be fighting anyway, even if it wasn't here. We would have attacked…_

_Yes, but the cost of losing wouldn't be the entire Rebellion._

Seven minutes left, before the Death Star would be in range. Red Leader started on his run. "Luke, take Red Two and Three." Red Three was Biggs (an old friend of Luke's) and Red Two was Wedge Antilles. "Hold up here and wait for my signal to start your attack run."

"I copy Red Leader."

The three X-wings shot down the trench. Three TIE fighters took off after them. One of the X-wings fuzzed and died. Then another one. "Almost there… almost there…" came Red Leader's voice. "It's away!"

Could it be? "It's a hit!" The Death Star was hit! "Negative. It didn't go in. Just deflected off the surface." Red Leaders voice sounded defeated. My heart fell.

A few TIE fighters closed in on the lone X-wing. "Turn to point-o-five, we'll cover for you." Luke said.

"Negative. I've just lost my starboard engine. Get set up for your attack run." Red Leader went down screaming. I thought I was going to be sick.

"Biggs, Wedge, we're goin' in, and we're goin' in full throttle. That ought to keep those fighters off our backs." Luke said.

"Luke, at that speed will we be able to pull out in time?" Wedge asked.

The three blips on the battle console before me moved toward the deadly trench. I held my breath. Luke _had _to come out of there alive.

"What about that tower?" Wedge's voice sounded strained.

"You worry about those fighters, I'll worry about the tower."

The three X-wings were in the trench now. All at once the red blips signifying TIE's appeared behind them. One fired.

"I'm hit! I can't stay with you." Wedge's voice.

"Get out of there, Wedge, you can't do any more good back there."

"Sorry." Wedge's X-wing pulled out of the trench. None of the TIE fighters followed.

There were two of our fighter's left. "Wait for it… wait for it…" Biggs's voice. Suddenly the blip signifying his X-wing disappeared. Luke was alone, against three TIE fighters. _Please, _I pleaded in my mind. _Please, do it. Don't die. _

Something was peculiar about the middle fighter. It was different than the others. It was modified, but that wasn't the only thing. I couldn't figure out what, until suddenly it started firing at Luke.

Darth Vader was on that fighter. I had no idea how I could tell, but somehow, I could. Darth Vader was trying to kill Luke. I felt a chill prickle my skin.

"THE DEATH STAR HAS CLEARED THE PLANET. THE DEATH STAR HAS CLEARED THE PLANET."

I looked fearfully at Commander. He put a hand on my shoulder. Somehow, it wasn't as comforting as it was meant to be.

Luke's tiny X-wing raced down the trench. _Come on Luke, come on!_ "His computer's off. Luke, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm all right." What was he doing? The Death Star was in range. It was now or never. The Rebellion would die, or the Empire would be crippled. The fate of the galaxy rested with one tiny X-wing pilot.


	10. Accidental Heroes

As I sat anxiously staring at the battle console, I was stunned to see a red blip disappear. Then another one. The TIE fighters were being destroyed! The center one, carrying Darth Vader, spun out-of-control and vanished off the side of the screen. A loud yell filled the sound system and I was astonished to hear Solo's voice yell, "You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!" He came back! Han came back! My heart flew to my throat.

Luke fired. My heart pounded. It had to go in. I could feel every drop of blood pulsating in my veins. The blips signifying the few remaining Rebel fighters flew away, but my gaze remained on the huge ball standing for the Death Star. I thought time stood still for a moment. All at once, the Death Star vanished. A loud cry filled the room. "Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!" Solo's voice cheered.

Several minutes later, as the X-wings landed, everyone in the Rebellion rushed to greet them. I brushed past Threepio and squeezed my way to the front. "Luke! Luke!" I threw my arms around him, both of us laughing hysterically.

"Luke! Luke!" Solo's voice came. He hugged Luke.

"You came back!" Luke exclaimed.

Han ruffled his hair. "You don't think I'd let you take all the credit and take all the reward!"

"I knew there was more to you than money!" I cried and threw myself on him, hugging him.

We suddenly noticed Artoo being lowered from the X-wing. The droid was blackened and a red liquid that reminded me of blood was covering him.

"Artoo!" Threepio whimpered. "Artoo! He must be repaired! Sir, if any of my gears would be helpful, I'll gladly donate them!"

"He'll be alright." Luke reassured him. Han and Luke linked arms over my shoulders and, my arms wrapped around each of them, we joyfully walked away, me between my two favorite people in the galaxy.

***

I have no idea how I talked Han into it. It took more diplomatic skills for him than it took for a stubborn Bushnark bent on eating man-flesh. But he had finally agreed, and that was all that mattered. I could tell he still was not happy about it, even as he walked down the aisle in new clothes. (I had insisted he get new ones, and he insisted they be like his old) Luke had a new jacket on, and the two of them walked toward me with Chewbacca behind them. The Rebellion's soldiers stood at attention on either side. The three heroes reached the platform where a few others and I stood. Commander handed me a medal that I hung around Luke's neck. He grinned. I smiled back. I moved to place another medallion around Han's neck. He winked at me. I had to try not to laugh. A whistle sounded at my right side and I turned to see Threepio, who had been polished until I could see my reflection, and Artoo beside him, fixed and looking like new. I couldn't help but smile and as Chewie roared and everyone clapped and cheered for them.

* * *

_The princess pulled it off. She and her Rebellion destroyed the Death Star. But it doesn't matter. The Empire still lives, as it always will._

_I see Padmé's face, and her brown eyes, caught in the reflection of Organa's. They frown at me._

_I ignore them._

_Padmé is dead._

_There is a new threat, more than Organa's weakling Jedi skills. She is nothing compared to this man—no boy—who destroyed the Death Star. His power dwarfs hers, even as mine dwarfs his. I could feel it. Thousands of times more potent than Organa could ever hope for._

_Now I know why he is more powerful than she. I have learned his name._

_Luke._

_Luke Skywalker._

_My son._


	11. Hiding in Shadows

* * *

We didn't have much time to celebrate our victory. Not a moment was lost in evacuating the Yavin base. Just in the nick of time too, for a fleet of Star Destroyers appeared as the last few transports took off. We lost two of the transports. One of them was a passenger transport, the other carried supplies. We had to leave some of the heavy equipment on the ground, and that also was destroyed or taken by the Imperials.

The passenger transport that was destroyed was carrying one of my friends, a girl called Sarina. Her sister, Clare, stood beside me as we watched the transport explode, Sarina's life evaporating with the gases that spilled from the disintegrating pipes. Clare, a good friend of mine, didn't cry, didn't scream, barely reacted at all. She stared out of the viewscreen, eyes wide with shock, fists clenched in fury and helplessness. A single tear slid down her cheek but I don't think she noticed. Long after the fiery bits of debris faded into nothingness, Clare still watched. Then, abruptly, Clare startled me by whirling around. I nearly jumped in fright just looking at her eyes. They were burning, burning with a strange, fiery determination. Clare marched toward the cockpit, a fierce fortitude in her eyes. I sighed, wishing I was as strong as she was, remembering my weakness in the Imperial cell with the torture droid, my vulnerability after Alderaan's destruction.

* * *

_I will find him._

_I must find him._

_I will find my son. I must do this. I do not know why. I like to think it is because of my Emperor commands me to destroy anyone with Jedi powers. But deep inside, I think it is because this boy is my link to the past. It is because of Padmé. But I will not allow anyone to know that. Such feelings might distract me from serving my Emperor. And there is no greater man than he in all the universe._

_Except perhaps me._

_I will find Luke Skywalker._

_And then he will serve me._

_Forever._

* * *

We spent the next several months hiding. I hate hiding. But I didn't have much of a choice. We evaded the Empire pretty well, losing only a few transports in an ambush in a gaseous nebula. Luke, who had become a general and then a commander since the Death Star's destruction, had left, taking a small force to establish one of our many minor bases on Hoth. I was surprised, having never even heard of Hoth before. Han hadn't heard of it either, but Chewie roared something and Solo nodded and said, "Ah."

"What?" I couldn't help asking him, having not understood the Wookie.

"It's an ice cube." he said over his shoulder as he turned his back to me.

"A what?"

But Solo had already walked away. I took a deep breath and tried not to let Han irritate me. The only other person who could irritate me as easily as he could was my cousin Hadrath. And he was dead now. I bit my lip at this thought and tried not to remember Hadrath and Alderaan.

Instead, I tried to think about the upcoming mission. I was being sent on a recon mission to Ord Mantell. The Alliance was looking into establishing a base there. Why we had to have a recon mission I had no clue, seeing as how barely a hundred people lived on the entire planet, and they all stayed toward the warm north pole. The south pole, where we were going, was like a desert, except on the mountains, so it was rock instead of sand. It had less than two hours of sunlight a day, and that was in the summer. In the winter it didn't ever get light. The dry, barren mountains stood thousands upon thousands of feet high, stretching far into the atmosphere. Since the sun so rarely shed it's light on that place, not only was there no vegetation, but very low temperatures. There were apparently a few scraggly bushes that could survive in the desertlike conditions coupled with very little light, and freezing temperatures. What kind of plant could survive like that, I had no idea, but the locals (on the other side of the planet) called it the farilon, which meant (in their language), "Strong one."

Anyway, I had been chosen to be on the recon team, along with Clare, who's sister had been killed in the Yavin evacuation, Han Solo, (I just can't get rid of him, can I?) Chewie (who insisted rather violently on coming), Kindol Marunin, (a new recruit) and Anirson. (Marunin's buddy and a four-armed Monteclarse. Anirson looked like a shrimp next to Chewie, though.) I decided to keep an eye on Anirson. Monteclarse tended to be up to no good, rather like a miniature Hutt in spirit. Why they sent Marunin and Anirson, who where new recruits, on a sensitive mission like this, I had no idea.

And of course, I, being the most wanted and most recognized among us, couldn't just waltz onto the planet in my traditional royal hairdo and Senatorial gown. I put blonde highlights in my hair, and enclosed most of it in a brown helmet. I put a dosage of eye drops made from a caranthor plant on Daramir, which within moments turned my irises a brilliant, icy blue. (I had another small bottle of eye drops in my pocket that would return my eyes to their normal color later). I didn't have to bother with a voice manipulator because I wasn't going to be doing any talking should we come across anybody. Clare had been assigned to that, since she wasn't as widely known as I, or even Han. I was garbed in a loose tunic that reached past my hips; brown slacks; and a sleeveless black overcoat with a wide, loose neckline, with a belt over all. A strap on my arm held a small blaster, along with the larger blaster on my hip. There was a two handed blaster strapped to my traveler's pack. I even had a few pieces of armor strapped to my arms. All in all, I looked like a bounty hunter or smuggler or some scum of the sort.

When I was finally ready, I left my quarters and started toward the landing bay. I took a corner too fast and ran into somebody.

It was Han. "Hey," He said indignantly, "Watch where you're goin'." He paused suddenly as he saw me. He cocked his head a bit and squinted. He frowned, and demanded "Who are you anyway?" I struggled to keep back a smile. He didn't recognize me! "You look like someone I know." Well, he sort of did.

I could see Han visibly recoil in shock at the sight of my now-bright-blue irises. "Oh, sorry." he mumbled as he tried to duck away," I thought you were somebody else." He hurried away down the hall and I had to turn away to hide my smile.

***

I'll never forget the look on Han's face when I boarded our shuttle to Ord Mantell. He looked around at who was already there, (Chewie, Marunin, Anirson, and Clare,) and at who wasn't there, (myself) and stared at my outlandish costume, did the math, and realized it was me. I could see his eyes widen in surprise then his jaw tighten in memory and then he looked away nonchalantly, as if he'd never seen me before. Trying hard not to burst into laughter again, I walked past calmly. I didn't look at him, though I had a curious sensation as my blood suddenly pulsed faster and my heart fluttered, and my hands got clammy. No one else seemed to notice though, and I dismissed it.

I wasn't the only one disguised. Han had a fake scar from his nose to upper lip and a hat pulled low over his face. Clare's hair had been braided and twisted in a foreign way and had long, intricately intertwined, dangly earrings I had never seen the like of before.

Everyone boarded the shuttle and within moments we were on our way to Ord Mantell.

We made it through Ord Mantell's customs without trouble. Avoiding the northern and populated side of the planet, we veered to the southern hemisphere and prepared to land.

It was cold in this mountainous desert, below freezing, but there was neither snow nor ice. It never rained here. How could there be snow? We couldn't wear our thermal jumpsuits in case we ran into any native's who decided to ask questions. But I was pretty sure the only natives we would be running into were the farilon plants. But we couldn't take any chances, so we just wrapped up so thickly we could barely move. Even Chewie put on a heavy overcoat. That was a comical sight, with his furry hands and head sticking out of the coat.

When we finally emerged, I shivered despite my wrappings. I felt the wind bite at my cheeks and nose, which were untouched by my heavy scarf, and the wind seeped right past every layer of clothing giving me goosebumps.

I, being me, tripped over a loose stone the moment I touched solid ground, falling flat on my face. Graceful landing by yours truly. Ok, I admit, the rusty red rock that made up the ground was not the first thing I was planning on seeing on this planet. Oh well.  
But, being me, with my luck, simply tripping over a stone to bite the dust wasn't good enough. No, Anirson the Monteclarse was right on my tail, and he promptly tripped over me, one of his four arms (accidentally?) hitting my face and bruising my jaw. Yelling (in his native tongue) and waving his arms, Anirson did not look happy. Actually, I thought he was going to attack me, but Chewie growled, Han glared, and Marunin grabbed one of his arms to restrain him. Clare was the only one who actually bothered to help me up. Only after I was back on my feet did I notice Han had his blaster half drawn and was trying to re-sheath it without anyone noticing.

Rubbing my bruised jaw, I tried to quell the rising urge to slug that four-armed creature they say is actually intelligent. Anirson glared at me. I glared back until he lowered his eyes. Ah ha. I guess blue eyes on a previously brown-eyed person can be disconcerting. Of course, I tend to produce the same effect on everyone, blue-eyed or not.

Thinking back on it, I wondered why _Anirson _had been the one yelling. Technically I should have been the one upset. After all, it was _my_ face that was buried in the frozen ground and _my_ jaw that hurt for two days afterward, complete with a big purple bruise. Monteclarse bones must be made of stronger stuff then human bones.

Anyway, after that incident, we made our way through the wilderness, Anirson and I keeping as far apart as possible. We each had a swoop so as to cover more distance. We split into two groups. Clare, Anirson, and I in one group, Han, Chewie, and Marunin in the other. Just great. Anirson had to be in _my _group, of course. But we couldn't let the two newbie's go off in their own little group, now could we. Still, Marunin looked like a decent sort….which was more than I could say for Anirson. Oh well. At least I could keep an eye on the beast this way.

But after we got on the swoops, I almost forgot about Anirson. I'd forgotten how much I loved flying like this, speeding along just a few meters from the ground; farilon bushes, boulders and other obstacles hurdling past almost to fast to see, the wind dragging tears from my eyes. I loved leaping and twisting inches away from crashing, avoiding obstacles at the last possible moment. Wherever and whoever my real parents were, flying was in my blood. I knew it without being told.

However, I never could bring myself to actually get in a fighter and fly into space and shoot people. At least here, if I crashed, I would land on the ground, no matter how many bones I broke or organs I ruptured. I couldn't bear the thought of simply falling forever through the never-ending vastness of the hungry mouth of space, just waiting to swallow me…

It wasn't death I feared. It was the long wait and the endless pain before death ensued that terrified me.

As the three of us, Clare, Anirson, and I, swept along, nothing unusual appeared. The barren mountains soon rose in front of us, grey-blue silhouettes in the forever twilight.

This had to have been the easiest, top-secret, top-priority mission ever.

When we at last entered the mountains, we slowed and looked up in awe from our valley at the vastness of these mountains. They stretched up, endlessly reaching into the velvet sky lit with starry diamonds. But from here we could barely see those diamond-stars. The mountains stretched so high that it would have been dark down here even in broad daylight. The shadow of the mountains would have seen to that. I shuddered, and not from the cold. I didn't like the thought of living in that Shadow. I wasn't afraid of the dark. I don't like shadows. Too much can be hidden in them. This Shadow was deep, heavy, penetrating my bones.

Unfortunately, Clare and Anirson used the same reasoning to conclude that this would be the perfect place to hide the Rebellion. The Shadow would hide us.

I wondered what else it hid.

We ventured further into the mountains, but it was all the same. Deep, gut-wrenching valleys and towering, breathless mountains. And the farilon shrubs. Many, many farilon shrubs.

All that takes very little time to tell, but we spent a whole "day" there, meaning our normal waking time. After that, we swooped back down to the plains before the mountains, where we met Han, Chewie, and Marunin. They had found the same things we did, more valleys and more mountains, along with one particularly wide and deep valley half sheltered by a crooked mountain. A perfect place for the Rebellion.

My stomach clenched in fear and revulsion.

We agreed that tomorrow we would all go and look at this valley. I subconsciously started calling it the Death Valley, and the Shadow Mountains. And I was afraid, unreasonably, it seemed.

Tomorrow, that fear would be proved reasonable. But it would also prove that I feared the wrong thing. The mountains were not the threat.

But we did not know that.

Yet.


	12. Strength

* * *

_I have found the link to Skywalker. It is the girl. Organa. She will lead me to him. She has led me to her rebellion once, she will do it again. Only this time, in addition to her sorry band of rebels, Organa will lead me to her friend and confidant. Skywalker. She will betray her closest friends to me._

_And after Skywalker is mine and her friends are dead, I will kill her._

_And it will be her own people that bring her to me._

* * *

It was odd, waking when it was still twilight. That would be the hardest thing about living here, I decided, the forever dusk, the sun rising for only two hours at a time in the summer.

We ate a cold, disgusting breakfast and then mounted our swoops to find the valley Han and the others had found. It took us half the day to get there. It was exactly has they had described. A wide, deep, rocky valley, half of it deeply shadowed by the overhanging mountain. The shelf looked like it would topple any moment, but Han assured us it was safe.

The valley was indeed ideal. It would be easy to stretch a screen across the opening of the valley and project an image of the normal canyon floor, while what was really going on below would be the Empire's greatest threat.

So what felt so wrong?

I felt as if had lived under this Shadow all my life, and now I could see it, blanketing the canyon floor before me. Waiting for me to step into the trap.

Waiting, it's jaws wide with anticipation.

Suddenly realizing the others had proceeded on down the valley, I fired up my swoop and went down to join them, ignoring my quailing heart. As we circled the valley, no apparent danger appeared. Still, I couldn't shake the idea that this was horribly wrong.

It must have showed on my face too, cause Clare glanced at me oddly and over her comlink asked me if I was ok, and that I looked pale. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Han sit up straighter and start to veer toward me, but I answered I was fine, just a little cold. Han edged his swoop just slightly back the way he was supposed to be going.

As we neared the overhanging mountain, I slowed and looked around. Nothing unusual, except a lone farilon plant. As I got closer though, I realized this farilon plant _was_ unusual. The height and leaf-shape was the same, but this plant seemed to be a slightly darker green, and coated in something shiny and gooey. I halted the swoop and swung off. I walked toward the plant, and when I drew close, knelt to examine it. I pulled off one glove, just brushed the leaves, and my hand came away gooey. I couldn't tell the color of the substance, just that it was a semi-fluid, and sticky. _Like blood._ I leaned forward to examine it closer, and as I reached to touch it again, I brushed the edge of it.

The edge was paper-thin and slit open my fingertip as easily as a paper cut. I instantly felt the sting and my blood welling out. Instinctively I popped the wounded fingertip into my mouth, then spat as I realized my hand was still covered in goo. The leaf had slit open a long diagonal line down half the length of my finger. The icy cold air reached the wound and made it sting. I wondered if the gooey stuff was what was making this cut sting so much. Most paper cuts hurt a lot, but not like this. My whole finger felt like it had been sliced to the bone.

By now my companions had noticed my empty swoop and had come over to investigate. Marunin and Clare were already parked and walking toward me to find out what was going on.

"Hey!" Clare said, breathless, "what did you find?" She looked at me and noticed I was clutching my finger. "What happened?"

"Oh, that farilon plant over there looked unusual and so I went to look at it and I got cut. It stings pretty bad."

"Ouch. Good thing those things aren't poisonous."

Marunin had ripped of a piece of white cloth from his clothing and handed it to me. "We can treat it properly back at camp." he said.

I stared at the piece of cloth and the dread fell back on me. We shouldn't be here. We had to leave.

Now.

But I took the cloth and didn't say anything. I just wrapped up my finger and slipped my glove back on, breathing deeply and trying to ignore the pain that now spread up my arm.

"So, where's this "unusual" plant?" I pointed her and Marunin in the right direction. They left. I stood there, debating with myself about these feelings.

By now, Han and Chewie were coming towards me, Anirson not far behind.

"Hey, what's up?" Han asked me.

"Oh, nothing. Clare and Marunin are checking out a farilon plant with—with something weird on it."

" 'Something weird on it.'?" he queried. I nodded, feeling suddenly very tired and worn.

"Something weird." Clare confirmed as they returned, waving a small container holding a leaf of the goo-covered plant. "We aren't sure what it is yet."

Marunin said something else and after about five seconds, I realized I had no idea what he just said.

Han spoke too, and again, I had no comprehension.

Chewie roared, and though he sounded more warbled than usual, I could never understand him.

But when Han translated, and still spoke gibberish, I was suddenly concerned. "What did you say?"

The others turned and stared at me as if I had suddenly sprouted elf-ears.

"What?" I asked, surprised by their looks.

Clare aimed a question at me, but I couldn't understand.

"You guys are all speaking nonsense." Now even Anirson looked at me like I was insane.

Han put a hand on my arm and said something that sounded remotely like my name. I flinched away; his touch felt like an iron claw digging into my arm. "Stop it, that hurts."

Marunin said something short and curt. Clare, Han, and Chewie looked as if they would like to strangle him.

Now my vision was going. Everything was blurry and even the gibberish the others were speaking sounded remote and far away.

"I'm fine." I said and started toward my swoop. But I stumbled over my own feet, regained my balance for a split second, then my knees gave way and I felt myself topple backwards and hit Han, who didn't have time to react before I collapsed onto the ground and sank into black oblivion.

***

I awoke screaming, pain ripping through every fiber of muscle, sinew, skin, and bone. I could feel my blood pounding through my veins, throbbing in my head. Tears streamed down my face. Pain, agonizing pain, all throughout my body.

"Leia!" I could hear Han's voice clearly this time. I tried to stifle a scream and succeeded to the point of reducing it to a whimper. Suddenly I could feel that there were hands on me, trying to keep me from thrashing around too much. I stilled my movements though the pain did not cease or ease. My breath came in shudders mixed with sobs of pain.

"Shhh." I could hear Clare whisper soothingly. "Quiet, now, just lie still, Leia, lie still." The hands came off my legs and arms as I grew still except for my labored breathing. My vision cleared and I saw three blurry shapes standing around me, before it grew black again and I sank back into unconsciousness.

***

The next time I awoke, the pain was less. I managed not to scream. This time the pain was focused into my right calf and left ankle. It hurt to breathe, and one of my ribs felt like it was on fire. I tried to breath shallowly to prevent strain on it. Somebody was clutching my left hand and then they weren't. The three blurry shapes were still there, and I realized the one on the left was Han, on the right was Clare, and the third, in the middle was Chewie. I was lying on something that felt rather like my old bunk on the Death Star.

"What happened?" I gasped out.

"You broke a rib, your right leg, and sprained your ankle." Clare told me.

"How?"

"Do you remember falling?"

I thought back to my last memory.

"No. The last thing I remember is see—seeing that weird plant. I—went to look at it, and—and I got a cut." As a spoke this, I realized I couldn't feel my right index finger.

"Whatever goo was on that plant was a poison." Clare explained. "You started speaking gibberish and then collapsed. As soon as that happened, we all ran to you. Right when we got there, the ground collapsed and we fell all fell except Marunin and Anirson." She spoke the names with spite and I realized they weren't here. "That's how you sprained your ankle and broke your leg. Solo was bashed in the head and unconscious for a bit, but not as long as you. Dislocated his shoulder too. I think I broke my wrist and almost sprained my ankle, but I landed on top of you, and thus was spared much damage. Though I think I broke your rib with my weight. Wookie bones must be made of steel because Chewbacca got away with a million bruises but no broken bones."

I was still having trouble breathing, much less understanding this tale. "The ground fell?"

"Not on accident. It was a trap set by Marunin and Anirson and their buddies. We fell, and then were hauled off down a tunnel into wherever this is. I couldn't see who did it, it was dark. At least they took the time to set all broken bones and reset Solo's shoulder." I saw Han wince at the memory. I noticed a place on the side of his head where his hair was matted with blood.

"How do you know Marunin and Anirson were in on this?"

Clare's face turned to stone. "They laughed as we fell."

"We saw them later, after they hauled us away." Han added. "Apparently they are working for a bounty hunter called Kronak."

"_Feared One _in the language of the Sanal's." Clare said, and shivered.

I struggled to sit up, ignoring the pain in my rib and legs, and the disturbing lack of it in my finger.

"They're going to ransom us to the Empire." I concluded, a feeling of dread settling over me.

"Most of us." Han said grimly.

"Huh?"

Han didn't reply. I looked at Clare, who shifted uncomfortably and finally answered. "I think we were only a bonus. I think they were after Solo."

I looked at her questioningly, not understanding.

"Jabba the Hutt has a much bigger price on Solo then the Empire does on all of us together. We just happened to be with him, and worth something. Otherwise we probably would have been killed right away."

At last, I understood. I looked over at Han, who was looking grimly at the floor. I realized he must feel like this was his fault. A pain lanced through my heart, and it wasn't physical pain. I thought maybe it hurt me that Han—I mean Solo—was hurting, feeling guilty.

"So…. what do we do?" I inquired.

Eerie silence.

"There isn't anything we can do." Clare finally said. There's no way out except where they take us. Even if we managed to get out of this cell, we could never make it back up that pit, or find another entrance without being caught. And even if we could, how would we get back to the transport? We have no supplies, nothing even to keep warm in. There is no way out."

Another eerie silence. I thought I could touch the despair that hung over us. Chewie half-roared, half-moaned.

"We're all gonna die." Han said, and I never could decide if he was translating for Chewie or speaking his own thoughts.

"No we aren't." I argued. "The Death Star was more impossible to escape than this."

"But you didn't escape." Han corrected me. "We came and got you. Help from the outside."

"The Rebellion knows we are here. They can send a rescue squad."

This time Clare responded. "Not if Marunin and Anirson are ready for them. We might not be alone in here long. Besides, they don't know where we are. "

"There a homing signal on the swoops."

"Which are currently not with us and would be the first things this Kronak would use to trap the others with. To protect the Alliance, we hope they destroyed them or that someone in the Alliance will think to not follow the beacons. "

That was always the hardest thing about being in a Rebellion. When you had to hope that you're only way of escape would never be found or followed in order for the survival of the cause. When you had, essentially, to hope for doom and death for yourself so millions could be free.

We were hoping to never be found.

I shivered, and the pounding in my leg and rib started again. But it was nothing compared to the pounding fear in my heart.

We spent the next four and a half days in our little cell, provided with food and water and little else. We didn't speak much. What was there to say? At night we slept on the floor, huddled together for warmth and comfort. Our days were spent pacing the cell, or in my case, (since I was still unable to walk) sitting on the bunk in quiet contemplation.

The second night of our captivity, I had a dream, clearer then most dreams. I dreamed I was on Hoth, with Luke, the "ice cube" has Han had called it. I dreamed I was lost in a blizzard. Ice and snow whirled around me so I could hardly see my hand in front of my face. Sleet burned on the bare skin of my face. The wind threatened to drive me off my feet and blow me away like a leaf. I knew I had to keep walking, just keep moving, or I would freeze to death. But I was tired…so tired…and then suddenly I wasn't cold anymore…it was warm…so warm…and all I wanted to do was sleep…

_"Luke."_I called to him in my mind. "_Luke, help me. I'm tired. I can't go on. Help me. Find me. Come. Please. I…need… Help. _"

Then I heard him reply! _"Leia? Where are you? I'm coming…. Hang on, I'm coming…I'm coming….I'm coming…."_

_"Hurry!"_

Then the dream shifted, to another dream not so clear as the first, and the remainder of the night was spent in peace.

But when I woke in the morning, the dream remained as clear as if it had actually happened. And then I found it— a little chunk of ice caught in a fold of my clothing, which melted within moments of my touching it.


	13. Changed

The fifth night, I couldn't sleep. Every time I shut my eyes a nervous, fluttery feeling would appear in my stomach and I had to open them. If I had been able to, I would have been pacing the cell very quickly. As it was, I fidgeted and shifted and bit my fingernails till they ached and nearly drove Clare insane before I was able to still myself long enough for her to fall asleep. When everyone else was snoring contentedly, I slowly sat up, ignoring the pain in my rib, and leaned against the wall. I longed for a window so I could look at the stars. It was dark in the cell; the light on the ceiling went out every day about the 21st hr, standard time. I sat there, staring into nothing, unable to sleep, unable to do anything else, waiting and waiting for I-knew-not-what.

I was drifting in a half-sleeping, half-waking state, when suddenly I came completely awake. I had heard a noise, sounding eerily like a blaster shot. All was silent a moment, then—yes! There it was again! The sound of a blaster being fired! Frightened and excited all in the same breath, I shook Clare awake, who came to with a jerk. She started to protest, but I shushed her. "Listen." The blaster fired again. Her eyes cleared and she sat up. "Are they executing prisoners or…"

"…or is it one of our people?" I finished. I woke up Chewie while Clare went to the door, her ear pressed against the crack between it and the wall. I explained to Chewie what was happening, he rowled in response and joined Clare. I started over to Han, and shook his shoulder. He woke with a start, sitting bolt upright to quickly for me to move, so his forehead crashed against my skull with a dull thud. A loud "Ouch!" escaped from my lips before I could help it.

"Leia?" Han asked blearily, rubbing where his forehead had hit. "You have a hard skull. What's happening?"

"I can hear a blaster firing."

His eyes cleared completely. "Blasters?" He practically ran to join the others, faces pressed to the door. I managed to draw myself upright, as long as I kept all my weight in my partially healed left leg. I hobbled over to the others. Chewie, whose ears were more sensitive then ours, suddenly howled joyfully and Han said, "He can hear voices!" Chewie moaned something else, "Luke?" Han stared at him amazedly. "You sure?" Chewie yowled what even I could understand was a "yes".

Luke! I could hardly believe it! I started pounding on the door and yelling at the top of my lungs. "Luke! Luke! We're in here! In here, Luke! Help!"

Soon all four of us were pounding our fists blue and our yelling ourselves hoarse.

Then we heard a return pounding. "Leia! Is that you? Han?" said a very muffled voice. But it was Luke's voice nonetheless.

"Yes! Luke! Luke it's us!" my voice squeaked from overuse. Han yelled, Chewie roared, Clare shouted happily. There was a louder blast as someone shot the lock on the door in, and then the door burst open, blinding our dark-adjusted eyes with the sudden brightness and bowling Han and I over backwards. Pain lanced through my chest and leg, but I was too happy to care. I couldn't even see Luke right away; my eyes were so dazed by the sudden light. All I saw was a silhouette, but I was never happier to see Luke's shaggy blonde hair sticking out in all directions. Chewie hugged Luke and lifted him off the ground. About 20 other Alliance members crouched in the hallway, blasters at the ready. Luke greeted us happily and quickly passed around our weapons that had been confiscated when we were captured, along with warm clothing to wrap ourselves in so that we could bear the cold of the outside, if and when we ever got there. Within moments, we were blasting our way through the corridors of Kronak's halls.

With one problem. I couldn't walk. I couldn't put any weight in my broken leg, for though it was set, it had only just begun to heal, and I had no splint nor cast of any sort. I couldn't even limp properly. Without a word, Han handed me his blaster, then, before I even realized what was happening, he swept my feet out from under me, one arm beneath my shoulder blades and the other beneath my knees.

I could feel my cheeks flush scarlet and I wanted nothing more than to be walking on my own two feet. But no one else seemed to care, and I found myself relaxing into him, at least until we were shot at.

And it was in this manner we left the prison of the bounty hunter. As we fled, I used Han's blaster to protect the both of us. But it wasn't long before we were bombarded with an attack from Kronak's cronies, including Kindol Marunin and Anirson, who both fell quickly. I think all of us that knew them and their betrayal focused on them the moment we saw them. But this distraction cost us, for at that moment, another attack came from the other direction. Han's shoe was singed; a black blaster burn rent a whole in my flapping outer tunic, and Luke's blaster was shot out of his hands, burning his fingers. But Luke's men soon took care of even these ambushers. Once though, when Han and I were behind the others, he tripped and fell, sprawling, on the floor. I fell, hard, and I think I screamed, for my rib had broken again and a dark red stain appeared on my side. Clutching my rib and trying not to cry, I slowly inched my way back to where Han lay.

For a moment I thought he was dead, and a greater panic than I had ever felt before rose in my throat. He couldn't be dead, nonononononotHannotHannonononeverpleaseno…

Then he breathed and rolled over with a moan and I nearly cried with happiness. But then I nearly cried with pain cause all that wanting to cry made my broken rib nearly unbearably painful. _But then_, I thought, _if Han was alive I could bear anything._

A moment later Han rose, having only had the wind knocked out of him, and suddenly I was happy and not embarrassed to have his heart beating against my temple as I hung on for dear life as he charged through the halls like a mad bull.

We were almost there, almost escaped, I could see the door that would lead us outside…. but right by the door a pair of yellow eyes gleamed, a dark figure crouched in the shadows. Without pausing to think, I fired. I missed, unfortunately, but my blaster caught the figure on the shoulder, causing it to spring out of the shadows in sudden pain.

It was Kronak. Kronak raised a huge blaster with his good arm, aiming directly at Han and I. I felt myself go rigid in panic, my blaster dormant in my frozen hands. I could see everything with crystal clarity, the burning pain, fury, and greed in his eyes, his gloved finger squeezing the trigger, and then, the widening of his eyes as Luke's blaster found his heart, blood flowing from his chest, his knees thudding to the ground, then he sunk slowly to the floor. Then we were past him and out, his blank eyes staring at me eerily as we passed.

They had a transport ready for us, and soon we were back, most of us in the hospital transport for our injuries. I had asked Luke how he knew we were in trouble. He frowned for a minute, then shrugged and said he didn't know. He just woke up one night and knew we were in trouble, knew we needed his help.

"What night?" I asked him. He told me a date and it wasn't until later that day I realized it was the night of my dream, when I dreamed I had called Luke for help.

That made me afraid, but it didn't stay on my mind long. Many things had happened during this mission. All of us had been changed. My rib still hurt when I breathed too hard for too long, and I had a lot of bruising on my leg for a long time, along with a tiny, white, threadlike scar on my finger.

And I thought maybe my feelings for Han might be deeper than I thought.

Maybe….just maybe…I was in love.


	14. Gone

I didn't mind winter on Alderaan. In fact, I rather liked it. Especially when it snowed. The arctic air would rush through my lungs and make my ears, nose, cheeks, and fingers turn red. The frigid breezes made me feel more alive somehow, and I have never seen the stars so clear as I have on a cold winter night. But liking winter didn't mean I wasn't relieved when spring came. Winter became dull after a while, and sloshing around in half-melted snow was no fun at all.

I say all this to say, the ice moon of Hoth was fun for about the first three months, the regular stretch of wintertime on Alderaan. The fourth month, I began to wish for the green buds and warm breezes of spring. The fifth month was worse. The sixth month, I was sure I was going to go insane, trapped inside my ice chamber, which had to be kept below freezing just for it to stay intact! But I knew my wishing was futile. The warmest it ever got on Hoth was the freezing temperature of water, and that was in the dead of summer.

The worst of it was, there was so little to do here. I wasn't a tactician; I had no battles or attacks to plan. I wasn't a general; I had no troops to inspect. I was a diplomat, a useless politician, completely superfluous on this stupid, frozen rock, where the only exciting thing that happened was when Threepio told Artoo it was freezing in my chamber, (it is supposed to be freezing to keep the ice walls intact) and Artoo turned up the thermostat, which made the outer layer of my walls, floor, and ceiling melt, covering everything in water with no way to dry it out. In all those six months, we had probably two sightings of an Imperial ship, one of which turned out to be an asteroid in the middle of an electrical storm, the other a smugglers ship. That and the melting of my room were about the most exciting things that happened in the whole six months.

Until finally, not long after melting of my room, something did happen.

And you'll never guess who started it.

Han Solo.

I was in the control room that fateful day, supervising a man named Talan as he worked at the communications console. Clare was nearby, also working. The door opened and someone entered. I looked up, and saw it was Han. But he didn't look at me. Instead, he immediately went to General Rieekan.

"Solo." General Rieekan greeted him

"No sign of life out there, General. Sensors are in place, you'll know if any thing comes around." I thought Han sounded distracted, like he had something else on his mind than life forms on this "ice cube."

"Has Commander Skywalker reported in yet?" Rieekan asked.

"No, he's checking out an meteoroid that hit near here." A meteoroid? They weren't that uncommon here, what was Luke checking it out for?

"With all the meteor activity in this system it's going to be difficult to spot incoming ships."

I was about to tune out of their small-talk conversation, when Han's next sentence nearly made me jump through the roof of ice.

"General, I've got to leave. I can't stay anymore." _**What?**_ I wanted to scream. _Han_, _**leaving?**_ I felt all the blood drain from my face, and I had to struggle to turn around slowly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Rieekan said slowly.

"Well, there's a price on my head, if I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt I'm a dead man."

General Rieekan turned around and shook his hand. "A death mark's not an easy thing to live with. You're a good fighter, Solo, I hate to lose you." Han thanked him.

And then he left.

I couldn't believe Rieekan was going to let him walk away like that. He had said it himself, Han was a good fighter, how could he let him just walk away like that?

Han started to walk past me, and then suddenly stopped in front of me. He looked somewhat nervous. "Well, uh, I guess this is it."

"That's right." I couldn't bring myself to say anymore. What could I say at that point anyway?

He stood silent a moment, then said, "Well don't get all mushy on me, Princess. So long!" For once I wasn't indignant at his comment, I was still shocked and confused, though I knew I shouldn't be, Han had mentioned this several times over the past few months but still…. I wanted to follow him, but had to restrain myself, there was still time for him to change his mind, he still had to get a proper resignation form and then wait for the response, didn't he?

But Han was a smuggler. He didn't follow rules. What did it matter what the response was or if he filled out a resignation form? What did an outlaw care?

So I followed him.

"Han!" I called as I walked into the hallway. I caught up with him a few steps down the hall.

"Yes, Your Highnessness?" he said sarcastically.

I ignored the comment. "I thought you had decided to stay." I was trying to be calm.

Han abruptly turned and started walking again. I followed. "Yeah, well, that bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mandell changed my mind."

Bounty hunter my foot. That didn't make any sense. That made it sound as though Kronak had somehow frightened him away. Since when was a smuggler afraid of bounty hunters? I knew there must be another reason.

"Han, we need you."

Han turned. "'_We_ need you'? What about _you_ need me?"

"'_I_ need you'? I don't know what you're talking about."

Han started walking again. "You probably don't." he said.

"And what precisely am I supposed to know?"

"Come on. You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me." Perish the thought.

Han was more observant than I thought. "Yes! You're a great help to us, you're a natural leader!"

He whirled around and I found myself staring into those eyes that I found so captivating. "No. That's not it." he said. "Huh? Come on."

I knew exactly what he was hinting at. But I wasn't about to tell that to anybody. Especially Han. "You're imagining things."

"Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was gonna leave without givin' you a goodbye kiss?"

"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie!" I retorted angrily.

He stuck a finger in my face. "I can arrange that!" He stomped off down the hall. "You could use a good kiss!"

Oh, the impossible man.

* * *

Meteoroid. The one Luke had gone to see. It wasn't there. It didn't show up on the scanners. But there was something worse. Luke was missing. Gone. Vanished. He hadn't reported in for three hours. If Luke had died, with Han leaving- I didn't want to finish that thought.

For another thirty minutes, I tried unsuccessfully to raise Luke on his comlink. By now, the sun was beginning to set and the temperatures dropped like a stone from a cliff. Feeling slightly panicky, I tried to raise Han on the comlink, to no avail. Where did he go, and why was his comm off? I decided to send Threepio to find out where he was.

When Threepio finally returned, he didn't exactly report anything good. Han had turned his comlink off to evade speaking to me. Now, _why_ would he want to do that? Perish the thought of anybody _avoiding_ me after that conversation in the south passage. Trust me, if it wasn't a matter of life-or-death, I wouldn't have spoken to him either. As it was, I was rather pleased to have Threepio be the messenger between us.

Threepio reported that Han (very brusquely) had ignored him after the droid had told him of Luke's disappearance, and had immediately started barraging a deck officer with questions and commands. Threepio had given up trying to get his attention and come back.

Fine. Han could be like that. See if I care. At least he was concerned that Luke was missing, even if he didn't see fit to talk to _me_ about it. Jerk. Telling me "You could use a good kiss!" So immature.

A few minutes later, Clare approached me with an incredulous look on her face. "Uh, Leia, you're never going to believe this, but your friend Captain Solo," I steeled myself for the unexpected…"well, he just went out on tauntaun to look for Commander Skywalker."…and was utterly taken away. Han went out on _tauntaun_? What was he, suicidal? What idiot went outside at all in this kind of weather? But especially on tauntaun! The beasts were native here, and thus could withstand very cold temperatures, but that was during the day. Nothing could survive at night.

Of course, a single heartbeat after that, a soft buzzer sounded on every comlink signaling the closing of the shield doors for the night. Panicking, I hurriedly paged General Rieekan as I raced toward the east entrance, where Luke and Han would come back….if they ever did. "General! Don't close the doors! Not yet! They are still out there, please, don't close them yet!"

"What?"

"They're still out there! If we close the door, they'll die!

"Who?"

My mind froze and I couldn't think.

"Who is still out there?"

"Uh, whuh…"

"WHO?"

"Commander…Commander Skywalker and Captain Solo!"

I heard Rieekan sigh over the link. "Well hold off as long as we can." and he disconnected.

I was so relieved I took a corner to fast, slipped on a slick spot of ice and slid for several feet before crashing into a wall. My newly healed rib started aching again. I didn't get up right away. I rested my head against the ice wall and sat there, forlornly, letting a brief moment of despair settle over me. Then I heard the sound of running footsteps and scrambled to my feet as Clare came running up.

"Leia! My Lady! Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I just slipped."

_Liar_, I told myself, _you are not fine. _

But I walked with Clare, slowly and dignified, down to the East Entrance. As promised, the shield doors were still open, revealing a furious white blizzard beyond. If someone were standing out there, they wouldn't be able to see the ground blow him or her if they were taller than five standard feet.

Clare had to leave soon after, she had other duties to attend to, but she hesitated before leaving. Finally, she laid an encouraging hand on my arm, smiled sorrowfully at me, and walked away.

I anxiously paced the floor beside an X-wing, occasionally pausing to stare out into the impenetrable whiteness outside. Once, I paused longer than usual, my eyes straining to see anything in whirling snow, despairing of ever seeing Han or Luke again.

Then I saw him. Han. He was struggling through the deep snow, dragging a body towards his dead tauntaun. The human he was dragging was Luke, dead or unconscious, I couldn't tell.

I took a step forward, and the vision vanished, my cry stillborn upon my lips. There was only whirling snow outside.

Suddenly the room was even colder than it had been before. _Please,_ I pleaded to both of them in my mind._ Please. Come home. Come back. I need you. _**I **_need you. Just like you said, Han. Please. Come home. Come back. Come back to me. _

A deckhand approached General Rieekan. "All patrols are in, still no sign of-" A wave of the general's hand cut him short. They glanced my way and the deckhand whispered the rest of his sentence. But I didn't need to hear what he said to know. Han and Luke were still missing and probably dead.

Threepio told me Artoo's scanners could pick up nothing. Finally Rieekan spoke to me. "Your Highness, there's nothing more we can do. The shield doors must be closed."

Dread settled on my heart. If we closed those doors, nothing, no one would get in until they were opened in the morning. Closing the door would leave Luke and Han on their own until morning. No one had ever survived a night on Hoth. The first month, two men had taken a patrol on tauntaun, before our navigation system was adjusted to the cold, so they had gotten lost and frozen to death, even with the shelter that was provided in the packs on every tauntaun. We found their bodies nearly a week later. The third month we were here, we accidentally closed the doors when a deckhand had wandered outside for a few minutes. We had found his body crumpled up outside the doors, frozen. Over the course of six months, five people had been buried alive, never to be seen again, dead or alive, and two people had gone inexplicably missing, in clear weather with navigation systems intact. We had no explanation for that.

In short, night on Hoth was lethal.

The shield door closing would ensure Han and Luke would be out there every minute of that night.

I would never see either of them again.

Alive, anyway, which is how I wanted them.

If I let them close those doors, I was condemning Han and Luke to death. As angry as I was with Han, I didn't want our last conversation to be what it was. And a gone Han was better than a dead Han. But I had little choice. I nodded at Rieekan, afraid that if I tried to speak I would burst into tears. The whine of mechanics filled the room. My heart thudded and my hands were frozen. I don't think I could hear well, because Threepio said something to me and I have no recollection of what it was. My entire heart, mind, soul, and will was focused on two tiny figures lost, or perhaps dead, in the cold, dark night of Hoth. I saw the outside as the inside, the inside of a gaping mouth, and the doors were the jaws of the beast, slowly closing. And the two people inside the mouth were two of the people left to me in the world.

Chewie was standing nearby. As the doors closed with a snap, he roared, understanding perfectly well that since nothing could be done for Han and Luke, we - no, I - had just signed their death warrant. Threepio babbled something else, but I wasn't paying attention. Despair settling on my heart, I slowly, miserably walked away.

I flung out a prayer to the heavens; not really believing anybody was listening. I prayed that my friends would be rescued from the mouth of the lion this night.

I wasn't sure if Chewie's mournful cry was echoing in the room, or just my own empty heart and head.


	15. Nightmares

That night is numbered among one of the worst nights of my life, the only other two (at this point) being the night my mother died and the night after Alderaan's destruction. Of course, I would spend a few nights later on much worse than this, but I didn't know that yet, now did I? Perhaps if I had, this night wouldn't have been as torturous as it was.

That night I was plagued by nightmares. I dreamed Han, still dragging Luke's body, had found the base, and was surprised to find the doors closed. He started banging on the doors, desperately, hoping against hope that someone would hear him and open them. Then, as the cold got to him, his cries became weaker and weaker. He sunk to his knees, and suddenly looked straight at me. I saw despair and hurt on his face. "You…you didn't…didn't wait for me," he said slowly, with effort. "You…you have destroyed us."

_"No!"_ I tried to say, but the words stuck in my throat. _"No! Please Han! Don't die! I'm coming! I didn't mean to!"_

But he sunk to the ground, his eyes closed and he stopped breathing.

"No!"

The dream speed ahead. It was morning. The doors opened and there were Han and Luke. Frozen and dead. Han was lying on his back, head thrown back and hands raised as if warding off a beast. I reached out to touch his fingers, then jumped back in revulsion, as the coldness of them seemed to seep into my bones.

But the dream changed again.

I saw my mothers face, my real mother, just the way I had seen it when I touched Luke's lightsaber, healthy and beautiful, but contorted in agony of spirit. She spoke, "You have taken my life."

"What did I do? No, please, I didn't mean to!" I stepped toward her, and again I felt Vader's hand on my shoulder, just like when Alderaan was destroyed. I cried out and tried to break free…

And I found myself back in the Death Star. I was back in the control room, the room where Tarkin had ordered the destruction of my home, my life, my father, Obri, and everyone else who meant anything to me. But now, my father, Bail Organa, stood beside me. "Daba!" I cried out before I could stop myself. He looked at me sorrowfully. Tarkin gave the order for Alderaan's destruction and I had to watch again as my home was in one moment shattered. But I turned to my father and as the devastated remains of my planet broke apart, he seemed to fade, and grow weaker. He reached one hand toward me. "What have you done, my daughter?" Then he disappeared. "Daba! No!"

One by one, they all came to me. They all died, and it was all my fault. Luke, Obri, my adopted mother, anyone and everyone, pleading for me to not do it, whatever it was, pleading for me to save them. But they all died. And it was all my fault. My fault. And my heart broke every single time I watched the people I loved most die. Over and over gain.

* * *

There was no hope. Han and Luke couldn't possibly have survived. No hope. But there must be something in the human spirit that isn't capable of complete despair, for though the odds were impossible, yet, hadn't we come through impossible odds, already? Wasn't there still a chance, no matter how slight, that they had survived?

I could only hope.

They had begun the search "for the bodies." as it was recorded. But what I couldn't figure out, was, if they were only looking for bodies, why they kept paging both Han and Luke for any response.

But now I was listening to the intercom where the Rogue Squadron was reporting in. Five minutes had past since they first went out. "Base One, this is Rogue Six, no sign of them yet." One by one all of them called in. Nothing. My heart sank a little. Five minutes after that, "Base One, this is Rogue Three. No trace of either Commander Skywalker or Captain Solo." All reported in, still nothing. My heart sank a little lower. Five minutes after that, "Base One, this is Rogue Nine. Scanner is not picking up any life forms." No one had found anything, and it had been fifteen minutes. Five minutes later, still nothing. I was beginning to give up what little hope I had of them surviving. Two hours passed. I despaired. Totally and completely. They were dead. I had killed them.

Four minutes later, the intercom buzzed to life. "Base One, this is Rogue Two. I've got something. Not much, but it could be a life form." _**A **_life form? Just one? Was it Han or Luke? Was it either of them? If it was, were they alive? I could barely breathe. "Base One, this is Rogue Two. I found them. Repeat. I found them." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I almost cried with joy, but managed to restrain it. Somehow it never crossed my mind that Rogue Two hadn't said they were alive.

I practically ran down to the shield doors. Nearly twenty minutes later, minutes that seemed like hours to me, they arrived. For a moment, I thought about the no conformation of whether or not they were alive, but almost immediately Han stepped out of the transport and it was all I could to not to immediately wrap my arms around his neck in a hug. Han appeared fine, but Luke was a different story. He had scratches on his face and neck, had countless bruises, was frozen half to death, and was unconscious. I fearfully followed the procession that carried him to the medical section and anxiously watched as he was immersed in a bacta tank.

I listened as Han explained to General Rieekan what had happened. He had spent about three quarters of an hour looking for Luke before he actually found him. That he had found him at all was a miracle, I knew. Blinded by whirling snow and surrounded by ice-bound terrain, the chances of Han seeing a figure lying unmoving in a snowdrift were next to impossible. But then, I had seen many impossible things happen lately, especially with Han around. Han had a talent for doing the impossible, whatever odds Threepio rattled off to him. Anyway, almost as soon as Han found Luke, the tauntaun died from cold. Han explained that he had used Luke's lightsaber to cut open the animals stomach and put Luke, delirious and half-dead, inside the animal, just to keep him warm. Han put up the shelter and moved Luke in. Then all that was left was to wait it out until they were found. Han shrugged and said, "That's it."

That was it for Han's part. What happened to Luke was still a mystery. It looked like some monster had attacked him. The scratches across his face looked eerily like claw marks. There had been no sign of his tauntaun. But we couldn't know for sure until Luke regained consciousness.

An hour later, Luke opened his eyes and was lifted from the tank. It wasn't long before Luke and Rieekan were sitting comfortably in a quiet room, while Threepio, Artoo, and I stood nearby. Luke explained that he had been going to look at an asteroid that had crashed nearby, when his tauntaun suddenly stopped. He had been attacked by some sort of snow creature and knocked unconscious before he could do anything or even get a good look at the creature. When he came to, he was hanging by his feet in an ice cave. He could hear the roaring of the creature, but couldn't see it. He had used the Force to get his lightsaber, cut himself loose, and cut of the snow creature's arm before fleeing the cave. Luke said that he didn't really remember anything past stumbling and falling. For a moment he got a faraway look in his eyes and muttered something under his breath, but I barely noticed. I was thinking about the creature that had attacked him. I assumed that must have been what happened to those two people who had randomly disappeared.

Rieekan got up to leave. The other pages and aids nearby also left. Almost as soon as the door closed behind them, it opened again. Han and Chewie walked in.

"How're ya feelin' kid? You don't look bad to me. 'Fact, you look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark." Han told Luke.

"Thanks to you." Luke replied.

"That's two you owe me, junior." Han turned to me. "Well, Your Highness looks like you managed to keep me around for a little longer."

"I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's too dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated the energy field."

"It's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."

How could anyone be so conceited? "I don't know where you get your delusions, Laserbrain." I said, meaning it. Chewie laughed quietly. Han turned to him. "Laugh it up, Fuzzball." He came over next to me and put one arm around my shoulders. I felt my entire body instantly tense up. "You didn't see us alone in the south passage." Han flashed a grin at Luke and Chewie. "She expressed her _true_ feelings for me."

I instantly jerked away from him. "Why you…stuck-up…" I was struggling for words "…half-witted…scruffy-looking…nerf-herder!" I finished angrily.

Han had walked away and now turned toward me again. "Who's scruffy-looking?"

I gritted my teeth to keep from saying the far-worse things that came to mind.

Han went over to Luke and said, "Must be hittin' pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, hey kid?" Oh, he wasn't hitting the mark, he was _way_ past it.

I stepped past him to Luke. "Well, I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Then I kissed Luke, giving Han my best innocent look as I walked past him and out the door.

I didn't really love Luke, at least, not like that. I knew I loved Han, deep down, I knew it. I just wouldn't admit it. Not to anyone, not even to myself. Especially now that Han was leaving. Admitting it would just make it hurt more when Han was gone. Admitting it accomplished nothing except to cause more pain. I never wanted to fall in love again, not if it caused so much hurt and confusion.

* * *

"Princess," Rieekan called from across the room. I bit my lip at the title; every time someone called me that, I thought of Alderaan. I walked over to where he stood at the sound booth. There was a man beside him, whom I recognized but couldn't place a name. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Han walk up, Chewie beside him.

"We have a visitor." Rieekan spoke. "We picked up something in Zone 12 moving east."

"It's metal," the aid said.

"Then it couldn't be one of those creatures." I pointed out.

"It could be a speeder, one of ours." Han put in.

"No." Rieekan said as the aid fiddled with a dial. "Wait, there's something very weak coming through." A warbling sound floated through the air. Threepio turned from where Talan was sitting and said, "Sir, I am fluent in over six million forms of communication. This code is not used by the Alliance. It could be an Imperial code." Threepio turned back to Talan and continued as if he's said nothing important.

"Whatever it is, it isn't friendly. Come on Chewie, let's check it out." Han and Chewie turned and walked out the door.

A few minutes later I was listening to the short battle happening on the other end of the comlink. I heard Chewie roar and I heard a laser go off, apparently from the mysterious object. A much nearer blaster fired, probably from Han, who was holding the comlink. One more fire from the object, then an explosion.

"Afraid there's not much left.

"What was it?" I asked Han.

"Droid of some kind. I didn't hit it that hard, it must have had a self-destruct."

There was about one thing that could mean. "An Imperial probe droid."

"It's a good bet the Empire knows we're here." Han said.

"We better start the evacuation." Rieekan said. I looked up at him. Goodbye to Hoth. I couldn't say I would miss it, but evacuation of such a heavy base wasn't an easy process, it and took a long time and was difficult to keep secret. Once we began, there was no turning back.

Then again, rarely with anything in life was there a chance to turn back.


	16. Inside

Star Destroyers. A whole fleet of them just appeared from hyperspace. It reminded me way too much of the Death Star's approach to Yavin. This time though, we weren't fighting. We were fleeing. Straight through the center of the fleet of Imperial Star Destroyers. Assuming any of us survived the attempt.

"…all troop carriers will assemble at the north entrance. The heavy transport ships will leave as soon as they're loaded." I told the ring of fighter pilots around me. Two latecomers ducked in the circle. "Only two fighter escorts per ship. The energy shield can only be opened for a very short time, so you'll have to stay very close to your transports."

"Two fighter's against a Star Destroyer?" an incredulous pilot asked.

"The ion cannon will fire several shots to make sure any enemy ships will be out of your flight path. When you have gotten past the energy shield, proceed directly to the rendezvous point. Understood?"

A chorus of "Yeah"'s and "Understood." and other confirmations filled the room.

"Good luck" I told them. The group of pilots dispersed. I hoped I would see them again, and felt an overwhelming sadness knowing I probably never would see more then half of them.

I rejoined Rieekan in the control room. "Their primary target will be the power generator." He told me, even though I already knew that. "Prepare to open shield."

"STANDBY, ION CONTROL." Clare's forced monotone voice said over the intercom. "FIRE."

A few anxious moments and someone else's voice announced, "THE FIRST TRANSPORT IS AWAY. THE FIRST TRANSPORT IS AWAY." I heard a cheer go up in the hanger.

Another transport successfully took off. "Echo Station, 3TA. We have spotted Imperial Walkers." One of the ground troopers reported.

"IMPERIAL WALKERS ON THE NORTH RIDGE." The message was relayed to the entire base.

"I don't think we can protect two transports at a time." Rieekan told me.

"It's risky, but we can't hold out much longer." As if to emphasize my words, the base rocked. "We have no choice."

"Launch patrol." Rieekan commanded.

"Evacuate remaining ground staff." I told Clare. Slowly, one by one, the ground staff left. The base rocked again, harder. One of the standing control panels crashed to the floor. Another fell on top of the one beside it, causing it to fall also. Soon all were lying in pieces. One nearly fell on top of me, but Clare yanked me out of the way. Dust, ice, glass, and wires were everywhere. A piece of glass was embedded in my shoulder, but didn't pierce skin because of it was so thick with thermal padding. Clare, Talan, Threepio, and I were the only ones left in the room.

I was looking over Clare's shoulder when I heard a familiar voice behind me, with an unfamiliar tone of concern in it.

"You alright?" Han? Here?

I whirled around, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard the command center had been hit."

I turned back to Clare. "You've got your clearance to leave." I told him without turning away. Luke was still out there, along with all the other speeders and ground troops. I wasn't leaving them to die alone.

Han climbed over a pile of wires, glass, and twisted metal that used to be a control panel. "Don't worry I'll leave. But first I'm gonna get you to your ship." Since when do you care?

"Your Highness, we must take this last transport, it's our only hope!" Threepio nervously told me.

I brushed past Han to Talan. "Send all troops in Sector Four to the South Ridge to protect the fighters." The fighters and Luke.

The base rocked again. "IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED THE BAY. IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED-" the voice was cut off. Han grabbed my arm. Bit of a worrywart, are we?

"Give the evacuation code signal." I told Talan. Han very literally began to drag me away. "And get to your transport!" I yelled to Clare and Talan.

I shook Han's hand loose from my arm and, suddenly afraid, ran down the hallway towards the transport. Debris fell from the roof continually. I realized we were rushing through the hall where Han and I had argued about his leaving. It mattered little now. We were all leaving, if we didn't die on the way out.

Han was few feet in front of me. Unexpectedly, the base shook harder than ever and I suddenly ran into Han, who had turned back and away from the direction of the transport. I saw instantly why.

The roof was caving in.

I screamed and Han pushed me to the ground. He was kneeling over me, shielding me from the debris with his own body. I could feel his breath on my face. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth until my jaw hurt, struggling not to scream again. The dust and wreckage settled, and Han rose to his feet. I opened my eyes and realized I was not dead or buried. Han tried to move a piece of the ceiling that now filled the hallway in a pyramid. Several pieces of the pile slid down at Han's touch. I rose to my knees. Han flipped on his comlink. "Transport, this is Solo. I can't get to you. Better take off, I'll get her out on the _Falcon_." Han pulled me to my feet again, and on we ran. I could only hope Clare and Talan had found another way.

Han was never far from me. I wasn't sure why he suddenly seemed so protective of me. Or was I just imagining that? I was never sure of anything anymore, at least, not if it had to do with Han.

I had heard of the legendary Jedi that had protected the Old Republic. I knew Jedi were trained to trust their feelings. I wished I could trust mine. But I knew from experience how feelings betray. The thoughts whirling inside my head made no sense, nor could I trust them. The Jedi could trust their feelings. But I was no Jedi.

Finally, the hangar door was in sight. Han opened it and I ran through, Han on my heels. The door slid shut, and I heard a weak "wait!" and a bang on the door.

_Threepio._ I paused and turned back. Han had already opened the door again and yanked the droid inside. Both of us turned and ran, the droid behind. Chewie was outside the ship. He motioned to us to hurry and gave a Wookie grunt. "Hurry up, Goldenrod," Han shouted to Threepio. "or you're going to be a permanent resident!" I sprinted up the ramp, Han and Threepio following on my heels.

Chewie roared angrily in the cockpit. I went to Han, who was distractedly fiddling with a control board. "How's this?" he shouted to Chewie.

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" I asked sarcastically.

Han looked at me with his green eyes. My heart flip-flopped. "It might." He flipped a switch as he disappeared into the cockpit. The _Falcon_ roared and died. I heard a bang and it came back to life.

"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade." I told Han.

"This baby still has a few surprises in her, sweetheart." I ignored the nickname.

I flinched as laser bolts blasted into the stormtroopers grouped around the _Falcon_. Han gave Chewie a few commands then said to whoever happened to be listening, "let's hope we don't have a burnout." The _Falcon_ responded as he hoped and Han gave a triumphant, "See?"

I sat in the chair behind Han. "Someday you're gonna be wrong and I just hope I'll be able to see it!" Han ignored me and the _Falcon_ blasted into the clear, cold, white world of Hoth and then into the blackness of space.

We had barely made it out of the atmosphere of Hoth when out of nowhere a Star Destroyer appeared, and all the TIE's that come with it.

The _Falcon_ rocked with a blast from the Destroyer's laser cannon. Chewie roared something at Han. "I saw 'em, I saw 'em." Han replied as the _Falcon_ rocked again.

"Saw what?" I asked, trying hard to quell the panic rising in my throat.

"Star Destroyers, coming right at us." My eyes widened at the two monstrous gray ships straight ahead. Threepio burst into the cockpit. "Sir, sir," an alarm blared and cut him off. "Shut him up or shut him down. Chewie, check the defector shield." Chewie growled. "Great. Well, we can still outmaneuver them." Han threw the _Falcon_ into a dive that threw me against the seat and made my stomach flip in terror. "Prepare to make the jump to lightspeed." Han made another stomach-wrenching turn.

"They're getting closer." I said, my eyes on the gray ships.

"Oh, yeah? Watch this." Han wrapped his fingers around the hyperdrive controls and pulled. The _Falcon_'s engines whined and died.

"Watch what?!?!" Another blast rocked the ship.

Han looked baffled, and possibly for the first time ever said, "I think we're in trouble."

Threepio used his opportunity to say," If I may say so, sir, I noticed the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged. It's impossible to go into hyperspace!"

"We're in trouble." Han and Chewie went astern and I took over the controls.

Unfortunately, I was not as good a pilot as Han was, so our already-almost-gone deflector shield only got worse. Still, I tried the best I could. Suddenly I heard something hit the hull of the _Falcon. _It didn't sound like a laser blast. I couldn't think of anything out here in the middle of space that could make a sound like that. Another bang. Then I saw what it was. Asteroids. Thousands of them. We had run straight into a field of the giant, floating rocks.

Now this was something I definitely couldn't handle. "Han, get up here." I told him over the comlink. Moments later, he appeared behind me. I stood up and moved to the backseat. "Asteroids."

"I know." he sat down and shifted the _Falcon_...towards the asteroids? No way..."Chewie, set 2-7-1."That confirmed it.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't believe my eyes. "You're not actually going _into _and asteroid field."

"They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?" Han flew over a giant asteroid and narrowly avoided hitting another. Two asteroids collided in front of us, showering the _Falcon_ with the shards.

Staring wide-eyed, I grabbed Han's shoulder. "You don't have to do this to impress me."

"Sir," a panicky Threepio added, "the possibilities of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately three-thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one!"

Han shook his head, eyes never leaving the cockpit window. "Never tell me the odds."

One of the four TIE's on the scanner disappeared. Oh how very comforting. If TIE pilots couldn't survive, we stood no chance. Another TIE vanished off the scanner.

"A minute ago," Han told me, "you said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake. This could be it, sweetheart."

"I take it back." I told him. This wasn't exactly what I meant by that. An asteroid erupted into blue fire when another hit it. How it did that I had no idea. "We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer."

"Can't argue with that."

"Pulverized?" repeated Threepio nervously.

"I'm going in closer to one of the big ones."

"Closer!" The _Falcon_ was now barely two feet from a giant asteroid. If the asteroid so much as twitched, we were dead.

There were still two TIE's behind us. Han flew into a narrow trench. I closed my eyes and held back a scream when I saw the trench narrow suddenly, too narrow for any ship. I opened my eyes again and realized the _Falcon _was flying _sideways_ though the canyon. Both fighters behind us blew up, unable to avoid the crash. "Oh, this is suicide." Threepio moaned. "There's nowhere to go." We flew over a large crater in the asteroid. There were several circular holes in the canyon.

"There," Han said. "That looks pretty good."

"What looks pretty good?" I asked and stood up to get a better view, hanging on to the back of Han's seat in case the ship rocked again.

"Yeah," Han ignored me. "That'll do nicely."

"Excuse me, ma'am," Threepio asked me," but where are we going?" Why was he asking me? I was wondering the same thing he was. Han shoved the _Falcon_ into a steep dive and down we went into a medium-sized hole.

"I hope you know what you're doing." I told Han, just waiting for the asteroid to suddenly pitch or roll to fast for Han to save the _Falcon_ from ramming into the wall, sending all of us to our deaths.

"Yeah, me too." Han agreed.

Finally, Han found a place to land; far enough into the asteroid so that the rock between the surface and us would block us from all but the most powerful scanners; of which even the Empire had few. "I'm going to shut down everything but the emergency power systems."

"Sir," Threepio said, "I'm almost afraid to ask, but does that include shutting me down too?"

"No, I need you to talk to the _Falcon_, find out what's wrong with the hyperdrive." Just then, the asteroid rocked. I was very grateful the _Falcon_ had landed and was not still inches away from a wall that, if it moved as it had just now, would mean our instant deaths.

"Sir," Threepio said after a moment, "It's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable."

"'Not entirely stable', I'm glad your here to tell us these things." Han commented sarcastically. "Chewie, take the professor into the back and plug him into the hyperdrive."

"You know, sometimes I just don't understand human behavior," Threepio whined as he and Chewie left. "After all, I'm only trying to h-" The door slid shut. The asteroid rocked again, this time more violently.

I took a step backward to try to catch my balance, but I lost it anyway, sending me flying hard into Han's lap, who had fallen into the chair. As the asteroid rocked again, Han instinctively wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me from falling. My pulse immediately skyrocketed.

"Let go." I nervously tried to get up.

The asteroid rocked again, "Shhh" Han told me.

"Let go, please." I said again when the asteroid quit shaking.

"Don't get excited!"

"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me exited." I blurted out, not realizing the multiple ways my words could be taken.

"Sorry, sweetheart." Han very literally lifted me from his lap and set me back on the ground. "I don't have time for anything else." He grinned roguishly at me and left before I could think of anything to say.


	17. Safety

I was doing some work on the _Falcon_ in a hallway, near where Threepio was tinkering with the communication's board. The welder in my hand threw blue sparks everywhere. I pulled off the goggles and hung them on the hook, after putting down the welder. Now came the hard part. Turning the handle that opened the valve. I grabbed it with both hands and pulled. It was stuck. I released the pressure on my hands for a moment and tried again. I felt a presence behind me—and ignored it.. Suddenly I realized Han had wrapped his arms around either side of me and had grabbed the handle to help.

I shoved him away. "Hey," he protested, "Your Worship, I'm only tryin' to help."

I pulled harder on the handle, causing it to move a little. "Would you _please_ stop calling me that?" It was more of a command then request.

"Sure, Leia." he said flippantly.

I let go of the handle for a moment, and then gripped it again. "You make it so difficult sometimes."

"I know, I really do. You could be a little nicer though," he said reproachfully. "Come on, admit it, sometimes you think I'm all right. " I slammed the handle in frustration, and stepped away from Han.

"Occasionally. Maybe. When you aren't acting like a _scoundrel_." Han took my hand, which was still sore from the jammed valve, and started to gently rub it, his large, warm hands engulfing my smaller one.

"Scoundrel?" Han sounded surprised. I nodded, hoping he couldn't hear my heart pounding. "Scoundrel? I like the sound of that."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop that! My hands are dirty." My heart thumped harder. My throat seemed dry and I couldn't breath.

He stopped massaging my hand, but didn't drop it. "My hands are dirty too, what are you afraid of?" Han was leaning closer now, his green eyes staring into mine.

"Afraid?" I asked.

"You're trembling."

"I'm not trembling." I lied, then tried to stop. I hadn't realized I was until Han said that.

Now Han was even closer. "You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrel's in your life."

"I happen to know nice men." I mumbled, not quite aware of what I was saying as I felt Han's hand move from my hand to my shoulder.

"Nice men." Han repeated. Then his lips met mine.

I don't know how long we were there, but suddenly I heard Threepio's voice. "Sir! Sir! I've isolated the reflux power coupling!" Instantaneously my focus jerked from the feel of his lips to my flushed face and pounding heart. I flinched away though every fiber of my being longed only to be held by him.

Han held on to me for a moment, then pulled away and turned to Threepio. "Thank you, thank you very much." he said to the droid.

"Oh, your perfectly welcome, sir." I heard Threepio say, oblivious to what had just happened. And for that I was grateful. I wasn't sure I wanted the world to know just yet.

I took a deep breath and walked away, my heart still pounding wildly, breath coming in gasps. There was no denying my love now.

In one swift moment, my life had changed forever. I no longer felt like the same person.

Love was so strange. It knew no rules, that was certain.

And I did love Han. I loved him so much it hurt.

I slipped into the deserted cockpit and sat, just thinking. I was hoping to avoid Han for a while, unsure of what to say to him or whether to say anything about…

A sense of premonition made me look up. Something flew past the cockpit window. Something outside. Something in the cave. I stood up and peered out the window. I heard a noise, then a thud, and something was on the window. I screamed and jumped back in surprise. The creature's circular mouth was dripping white goo on the window.

I immediately fled, searching for any of my companions. I found them all in the same room.

I interrupted whatever Han was telling Threepio. "There's something out there."

Han pulled up his goggles. "Where?"

"Outside in the cave."

I heard a banging and scraping on the _Falcon_'s hull. "There it is, listen, listen!" Threepio said nervously.

Han stood and pulled the goggles all the way off, half-running toward the ramp. "I'm goin' out there." He grabbed an oxygen mask. Chewie followed him.

"Are you crazy?" I asked, actually only half-surprised at his reaction.

"I just got this bucket back together, I'm not gonna let something tear it apart again."

I groaned in frustration. "Then I'm goin' with you." As if I was going to let him go out and get himself killed already.

Han flipped a switch before he lowered the ramp. The switch pressurized the air around the _Falcon_ for a couple hundred meters in every direction. Han reached the bottom of the ramp and carefully set one foot on the ground before moving farther out. Chewie and I followed. There was a mist on the ground. It was cold, very cold. The air had been pressurized, but that heated it little. The three of us looked around warily for any sign of the creature I had seen.

"The ground sure feels strange." I commented on the squishiness beneath me. "It doesn't feel like rock."

"There is an awful lot of moisture in here."

There was something eerie about this place. "I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this. "

"Yeah." Han agreed. All was silent a moment. "Watch out!" Han fired his blaster. A yellowish object fell from the hull of the _Falcon_. "It's alright. It's alright." Han walked over to it. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Mynocks. Chewie, check the rest of the ship; make sure there aren't anymore attached. Chewin' on the power cables."

"Mynocks?" I repeated. I looked at the thing Han had blasted. It was bird-like, with bat-like wings. I could see the blood veins in the wings.

"Go on inside, we'll clean 'em off if there are anymore." Suddenly several flew over my head, startling me. I screamed Han's name and ran towards the ship's ramp. I heard Han's blaster go off several times and the asteroid rocked again. I clutched at the ramp's support pole, trying to keep my balance. "Wait a minute." I heard Han mutter. Then he surprised me by shooting directly at the ground. The asteroid rocked again, almost like it was reacting to the blast. I had loosened my grip on the pole and suddenly found myself ripped away from it, staggering, trying to keep from falling over. I grabbed at the pole again. Han was staggering toward me. He grabbed my arm to support me and the three of us were suddenly on board again, with the ramp up and Han yelling, "All right, Chewie, let's get out of here!" I followed him as best I could with the ground still rocking.

"If those Imperials are still out there I don't think it's wise to-" I started to protest. A couple mynocks on the cables wasn't anything to take off for.

Han cut me off. "No time to discuss this with a committee."

"I am NOT a committee!"

Han and Chewie were already in the cockpit. I ran in behind them and thudded into a chair as the asteroid rocked one last time. Then the _Falcon_ was in the air. "You can't make the jump to lightspeed in this asteroid field!" I still didn't see what Han and Chewie were so worked up about.

Han didn't explain. "Sit down, sweetheart, we're taking off."

I could see the mouth of the cave now. "Look!" Threepio gasped.

"I see it, I see it."

Something looked funny about the row of stalactites in the entrance. "The cave is collapsing!" I exclaimed.

"This is no cave." Han said.

"What!!!" The _Falcon_ turned sideways and flew between the stalactites and suddenly we were free. The _Falcon_ turned slightly to the side and I thought I was going to be sick when I saw a huge head rear itself out of the hole we had just been in. A space slug. We had actually flown into the belly of a space slug. My stomach churned uneasily and my hands were shaking.

The Star Destroyer found us almost as soon as we escaped from the space slug. "Oh, thank goodness we are coming out of the asteroid field." Threepio sounded relieved. This accomplishment meant little to me with the huge hulking form of the Star Destroyer behind us.

"Let's get out of here. Ready for lightspeed?" Han wrapped his fingers around the hyperdrive controls. "One…two…three!" _Falcon_'s engines whirred hopefully…then died. "It's not fair." Han, turning panicky, gazed dazedly at the controls, taking note of the flashing lights. "Racer circuits overboard. It's not my fault!"

"No lightspeed?" I asked, exasperated, knowing what the answer was.

"It's not my fault!"

"Sir," Threepio said fretfully, "We just lost our main rear deflector shield. One more direct hit on our back quarter and we're done for."

Han, for once in his life, looked truly baffled.

"Turn her around." He spoke suddenly. Chewie rowled. "I said turn her around, I'm going to throw all power in the front deflector shield."

Silence, except for the whirring of the engines and the whine of the blaster bolts outside.

Finally, realization sunk in. "You're going to ATTACK them!" I asked in complete disbelief.

"Sir! The odds of surviving a direct attack on an Imperial Star Destroyer-"

"Shut up!" I told Threepio. I was tired of hearing the odds, as if they could do anything to prevent our deaths.

The Falcon somersaulted magnificently and turned to face her impending doom.  
Closer and closer we drew to the grey monster. My heart was pounding, adrenaline rushing, and hands white from clenching the armrests. I desperately wanted to trust Han, trust he had a plan, however vague, and that he wasn't just committing suicide.

Which was very difficult to do staring death in the face.

Closer and closer the Falcon speed forward. We were so close now I could see the tiny grey figures standing on the command deck. I thought if we didn't pull up now we never would. But Han never wavered.

The last possible second had come and gone when Han wrenching the controls and swung the ship up and over the command deck, landing smoothly behind the satellite disk and shutting off everything but the emergency power systems.

We were dead in space, on the back of a Star Destroyer.

Literally on top of it and completely beyond it's reach.

I never would have thought of that, in a million years.

But almost immediately Threepio started in on his complaining. Nearly an hour later he was still saying, "Captain Solo this time you have gone too far." Chewie roared. "No, I will not be quiet, Chewbacca, why doesn't anyone listen to me?" Maybe because anything you say is already completely obvious to the rest of us?

"The fleet is beginning to break up. " Han pointed to the other ships going off in different directions. "Go back and stand by the manual to release the landing flow." he told Chewie. The Wookie left without complaint.

Threepio kept prattling. "I don't see what good that is going to do. Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire may be gracious enough to…" Han motioned to me and I reached over to turn off the droid.

"_Thank_ you."

I leaned forward to see Han's face. "What do you have in mind for your next move?"

"Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they'll dump their garbage before they go into hyperspace. Then we just float away."

"With the rest of the garbage." I liked it so far. "Then what?"

Han reached forward and turned on the navigation system, which cast an eerie blue light on both our faces. "Then we gotta find a safe port around here somewhere. Any ideas?"

"Where are we?"

"The Neuroid system."

"The Neuroid system, there's not much there."

"No." Han agreed, browsing through the information scrolling on the screen. " Wait, this is interesting. Lando."

"'Lando' system?"

"Lando's not a system, he's a man. Lando Calrissian. Card player, gambler--scoundrel, you'd like him."

"Thanks." I said, blushing slightly and trying to hide it.

"Bespin's pretty far, but I think we can make it."

I looked closer at the screen. "Mining colony?"

"Yeah, Tibanna gas mine. Lando conned somebody out of it." Han switched off the screen. "We go back a long way, Lando and me." Something in is tone rang false.

"Do you trust him?"

"No, but he doesn't work for the Empire, I can tell you that." Something outside groaned and clanked. "Here we go. Chewie, stand by… detach."

I felt the ship shift and suddenly we were floating free. I could see other pieces of garbage floating around, looking for all the world like other misshapen _Falcon's_. There was something exciting about it, in spite and perhaps because of the danger.

"You do have your moments," I said, patting his shoulder and kissing his ear impulsively, "not many of them, but you do have them."

We watched as the Star Destroyer disappeared into hyperspace. Han turned the Falcon toward Bespin and we rocketed off.

For a moment, I balked. A feeling of wrongness suddenly overwhelmed me, not unlike being struck hard in the stomach and having the breath knocked from your lungs. But in another heartbeat it disappeared, and I allowed myself to relax and look forward to at last finding a place of relative safety.


	18. City in the Clouds

***

Cloud City was beautiful. No, more the beautiful. It was _gorgeous_. It was the most spectacular city I've ever seen in my life. Especially with the sun setting, casting an orange glow on the city itself, and turning the sky and clouds a brilliant, fiery orange.

But we didn't enjoy the scenery for long. Within moments, two bizarre-looking sentinel ships had come out to us. And they were _not_ friendly.

"No, I don't have a landing permit." Han said for about the tenth time. "I'm tryin' to reach, Lando Calrissian." Laser blasts rocked the ship, "Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute! Let me explain!"

"You will not deviate from your present course."

"Rather touchy, aren't they?" Threepio commented.

"I thought you knew this person." I was quickly losing faith in Han's boasts of friendship.

"Well, that was a long time ago, I'm sure he's forgotten about that." _Now_ he mentions _that_ little detail. I sat back and seethed.

"Permission granted to land on platform 327."

"_Thank_ you." Finally. Took them long enough. "There's nothing to worry about; we go _way_ back, Lando and me." And now he reverts to his previous story. Smooth, Han.

"Who's worried?"

The _Falcon_ set down gracefully on platform 327. The boarding ramp went down, and we all set off down it.

The platform was completely empty.

"Oh, no one to meet us." Threepio, always there to say what everybody else is thinking.

"I don't like this." The horrible feeling of doom again invaded my mind.

"Well what would you like?" Han approached me. I didn't look at him. I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted to leave. I wanted to flee as fast as my legs would carry me. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

"Well, they did let us land." Threepio the optimist.

"Look," Han said, "Everything's gonna be fine. Trust me."

Trust.

What a word.

The door opened, and out marched a blue-caped man with olive skin and black hair, a bald man, and six security guards.

"See? My friend." Han was triumphant, yet still unsure. "Hey!" He stood, arms outstretched, waiting.

"Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good, swindler. You go a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled." The blue-caped man, Calrissian I assumed, was not happy. The smile on Han's face disappeared. Calrissian slowly walked up to him. He moved suddenly, and Han's fists came up, ready to fight. I lurched forward to help, but Calrissian's face broke out into a wide, white smile and he hugged Han instead of attacking him.

"How are you doing you old pirate, so good to see ya!" He started ranting at Han, and Threepio and Chewie deemed it safe to approach.

"Well, he seems very friendly." Threepio commented to me.

"Yes, very friendly." I wasn't convinced. There was something deceptive in his smile. It didn't reach his eyes.

I approached.

I was through running.

For now.

Trust.

Calrissian noticed me. "Hello, what have we here?" He immediately left off welcoming Han. "Welcome, I'm Lando Calrissian, I'm the administrator of this facility." He reached for my hand, which I reluctantly surrendered. "And who might you be?"

"Leia." I really was trying hard to be civil. For Han's sake.

"Welcome, Leia." He kissed my hand and I almost flinched but managed to restrain myself.

"Alright, alright. You old smoothie." Much to my relief, Han came to my rescue, and took my hand from Calrissian.

Calrissian took the hint and started leading us off the platform, still conversing with Han. "What's wrong with the _Falcon_?"

"Hyperdrive."

"I'll get my people to work on it." Calrissian walked backwards to face me. "You know that ship saved my life quite a few times, she's the fasted hunk of junk in the galaxy."

Yeah. I didn't already know that or anything. I've only flown halfway across the galaxy with the Empire on my tail.

The conversation bored me as we walked through the streets of Cloud City. But the view was magnificent. Everything was a glowing white, and huge glass window gave way to see the gorgeous sunset and magnificent cloud formations.

About halfway through our journey, I suddenly realized Threepio was missing. I tried to alert Han, and we made a brief, futile search for him, but Calrissian assured us he would have his people look for him.

Comforting.

Not.

As soon as we reached the apartments, and Calrissian pointed me in the direction of my bedroom, I went in, shut the door, and locked it.

I couldn't sleep that night. I had dream. I dreamed I was in the desert. Alone. I knew Han was gone, dead or captured I didn't know. Chewie and Threepio were missing. Luke was behind me, somewhere. I couldn't see him, didn't know if he was alive or dead. A sandstorm was coming up. I could see the cloud of dust to my right. I started running, trying to beat the storm to… somewhere. I wasn't sure where I was going but I knew I had a mission. I had to get there before the storm reached me…

The dream sped ahead. I was in a cold, dark room. Two men held my arms. They were pushing me toward somebody. I couldn't tell who or what the creature was. There was no form in the dream. Just a… blank spot where it should have been.

It was laughing.

The laugh made me shiver with dread.

The next morning I awoke with that awful trapped feeling again. We had to get out of here.

Now.

I dressed in the first thing I pulled out of my suitcase and was dismayed to learn Han and Chewie had already left. I tried wandering around the nearby halls, but didn't go to far. I didn't want to get lost then have to have Calrissian come help me. So I spent most of the morning pacing anxiously in the large sitting room.

Han appeared, suddenly, in the doorway. "The ships almost finished, to or three more things and we're in great shape."

I marched over to him, anger rising in my voice, unrestrained. "The sooner the better. Something's wrong here." I knew my voice was unnaturally loud. Han glanced toward the door to make sure no one heard. I didn't care. Let them hear. "No one had seen or knows anything about Threepio, and he's been gone too long to have gotten lost."

Han kissed my forehead. I didn't move. "Relax. I'll talk to Lando, see what I can find out."

I sat down on the sofa. "I don't trust Lando."

Han knelt beside me. "Well, I don't trust him either. But he is my friend." Some friendship. "Besides, we'll soon be gone." Not soon enough, I'll wager.

But another thought occurred to me.

"Then you're as good as gone, aren't you?"

Han bowed his head, an odd look on his face. "I have to, Leia. As long as Jabba's gunning for me, the Rebellion is in danger." He looked up."And so are you."

I didn't say anything, for fear of the hot tears pricking at my eyes might fall. Han lifted my chin. "You don't always have to be so brave, Leia."

The door opened, and Chewie walked in. He was carrying a box of wires and gold plates.

Threepio.

"What happened?" I asked, grateful for the intrusion.

Chewie roared. I looked at Han. "Where?" The Wookie roared again.

Han translated. "Found him in a junk pile."

"Oh, what a mess. Chewie, do you think you can repair him?" I inquired.

Chewie made a sound that I gathered to be the Wookie equivalent of "I think so."

"Lando's got people that can fix him." Han offered helpfully.

I glared consendingly at the mention of that man. "No thanks."

Speaking of whom walked right in the door without knocking. So much for privacy.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?"

I wondered if he would go away if I said yes.

"Not really." I said instead and pulled my mantle closer.

Calrissian flashed an evil grin at me. At least _I_ thought it was evil. "You look absolutely beautiful." He desecrated my hand with his lips again. "You truly belong here with us among the clouds."

"Thank you." For nothing. I'd rather have my feet on solid ground, thank you. And I'd rather float in space forever then spend one more minute with you.

"Would you join me for a little refreshment?"

No.

He offered his hand to me. If I said no, would they kick us off Cloud City?

No, that would be way to good to be true.

I looked around. I wasn't going anywhere with this bozo alone.

"Everyone's invited, of course." Gingerly I accepted the proffered hand.

Thankfully, Han came to my rescue, offering me his arm. I gratefully dropped Prince Nerfherder's hand.

"Having trouble with your droid? " Calrissian had noticed the ruined remains of Threepio. I instantly sent my infamous death-glare at Han.

"No, no problem. Why?" Han replied to my eternal gratitude, then we walked out the door.

"So you see," Calrissian finished a lengthy explanation of Cloud City's inner workings. "Since we are a small operation, we don't fall under the jurisdiction of the Empire."

Since when is something too small for the Empire not to control?

"So you're part of the mining guild then." That was the only company that wasn't technically part of the Empire. But the Emperor and Vader influenced almost all of its leaders.

"No, not actually." "Our operation is small enough not to be noticed, which is advantageous for everybody since our customers are anxious to avoid attracting attention."

"Aren't you afraid the Empire's gonna find out about this operation, shut you down?" Han voiced the question.

"It's always, been a danger, and it looms like a shadow over everything we've built here. But things have developed that will ensure security." We had arrived at a pair of cream-colored doors. "I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever."

I wondered what kind of deal would ensure that, when the door opened.

I heard an odd, rasping sound. Like breathing.

A black form rose from the far end of the table.

Vader.

Han pulled me behind him, so he would be my shield. It was a sweet thought, for all the good it did. Stormtroopers had just swarmed in behind us. Han yanked his blaster out in a heartbeat and red bolts of death shot at Vader. The evil lord merely held up his gloved hand and the red darts sank into nothingness. Another heartbeat and Han's blaster soared from his hand to Vader's.

"We would be honored if you would join us."

This shadow of a man who had literally destroyed my entire world, was asking me to join him for tea?

We stared at Calrissian. "I had no choice, they arrived right before you did. I'm sorry." He just betrayed us to our deaths, and all he can say is he's sorry.

"I'm sorry too." Han said, surprisingly calm.

Then he locked eyes with me. I slipped my hand into his and together we stepped in, Chewie and Calrissian behind us.

The doors slid shut.

Hate welled in my heart as I stared at Vader. I felt Han wriggle his hand and I suddenly realized I had been squeezing it.

"Take them away." I heard Vader command. The bounty hunter grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I felt my fingers slip through Han's. "No!" I cried.

The bounty hunter laughed.

And I hated him.


	19. Cold

_A/N: Sorry its been so long...no promises for the future either, but this was already written so I might as well post it. :) _

We were thrown into separate cells. I don't know how long I was in there, before suddenly, I heard Han.

Screaming.

I could hear him through the walls. They _wanted_ me to hear him.

I covered my ears, tried to block out the sound. But it didn't work. Every cry was a dagger to my heart. I pounded the walls in frustration. When my hands were black and blue and my voice gone, I sank to the floor, sobbing.

Later, they took me to yet another cell. I was relived beyond words to see Chewie and Threepio. But my attention centered on Han, who was lying limply on a bunk.

Han. I went over to him.

"Why are they doing this?" I asked despairingly.

"They never even asked me any questions." I ran my fingers through his disheveled hair.

The door opened.

"Lando." I told Han as our newfound enemy entered.

Han struggled to sit up. "Get outta here, Lando."

"Shut up and listen." Calrissian glanced about guiltily. "Vader's agreed to turn Leia and Chewie over to me."

Han started. "Over to you?"

"They'll have to stay here, but at least they'll be safe."

That's all fine and dandy but something was missing. "What about Han?" I asked.

"Vader's giving him to the bounty hunter."

"Vader wants us all dead-" I started

"He doesn't want you at all! He's after somebody called…uh…um…" Lando stumbled for a name for a moment, then spat out, "Skywalker."

Now Han and I were both surprised. "Luke?"

"Lord Vader had set a trap for him."

Realization dawned on me. "And we're the bait!"

"Yeah, well he's on his way."

I could see the anger growing in Han. "You fixed us all real good didn't you," He slowly stood up "My friend-" Han swung a punch at Calrissian, then lost his balance and fell. I could see the guards aiming their crops at his fallen form.

My world froze. All I could see was Han. His smug grin. Green eyes. Han, saving me from the Death Star. Han, carrying me through the halls underneath Ord Mandell. Han, coming back for me in the attack on Hoth. Han, shielding my body with his own in the collapsing tunnels. Han, protecting me, caring for me, loving me.

And suddenly I was beside him, ignoring the stinging pain across my shoulders as the guards struck me instead of him. I barely felt it. All my attention was on him.

"STOP!" Calrissian shouted to the guards. They froze. "I've done all I can." He swung his cape back on his shoulders. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better, but I've got my own problems."

Han sat up. "Yeah, you're a real hero."

A strange look crossed Calrissian's face before he motioned to the guards and left.

"You certainly have a way with people." I told Han with a wry smile. Chewie and I helped him back to the bunk.

"What are we going to do?" I wondered aloud, situating myself beside him on the floor.

"Luke can take care of himself."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine." He looked at me. "Listen, anything happens to me, you and Chewie get out of here the first chance you get. And I mean the first. With or without me. You hear?"

I glared. "Not while you're still alive."

"Leia, if you don't get out of here, the Rebellion's doomed. If you get a chance, go. I mean it. I know what they did to you on the Death Star and I don't want that happening again."

I shuddered at the memory and grabbed his hand. But my resolve never wavered. "I don't _care_, I'm not leaving you here."

Han looked despondent. "I don't think I'll be here long. _Promise _me, Leia."

He gave me such an odd look, so full of determination and despair, I agreed. "If anything happens to you, and I get a chance to escape, I will." But under my breath I added, "But nothing's going to happen. I won't let it."

He heard me. "You can't stop it."

We were taken to a strange room. The lights were red, and steam was venting from somewhere. They handcuffed Han, but no one else. Threepio, in his halfway-dismantled state was strapped on to Chewie's back.

Han leaned close to Lando. "What's going on, buddy?"

Lando looked strangely sick. "You're being put into carbon freeze."

My heart jumped to my ears and I couldn't breathe.

As the guards came to bring Han forward, Chewie panicked. He roared and attacked the guards. I could see them bring their guns to bear…

Han intervened. "Stop! Chewie! Stop!"

Chewie paused, probably surprised at Han's interruption. "Chewie, listen to me. Chewie this won't help me. Save your strength. They'll be another time." Chewie looked as if he didn't' want to wait. "The princess," I sidled up to Chewie, in an effort to help Han. "You have to take care of her. You hear me? Huh?" Chewie moaned.

I looked at Han.

Then, we were kissing, one last time, before we were separated. The guards pulled Han away and I felt my heart breaking. They stood him in the middle of a platform and uncuffed him.

"I love you." I heard myself say as I stepped forward, finally, truly, completely admitting and understanding my own heart.

"I know."

The platform began to lower. Our gazes locked until the very end, when a cloud of steam rushed up around Han and he threw his head back in pain. I could see him no more, and I buried my face in Chewie's fur.

An awful feeling assaulted my heart. Indescribable pain streaked across my consciousness and then…. blackness. It was as if Han no longer existed. As if he had died. It reminded me of a time on Alderaan. I was in the middle of one of my classes and a far lesser feeling of the same sort had occurred. Obri told me I stood up in the middle of class, shoving my chair backwards so hard it almost toppled, clutching the smooth surface of my desk, my face deathly white. Only a few minutes later my father called me home where I learned that my cousin had been in a speeder accident and fallen into a coma. He recovered later, but the feeling of emptiness, of sudden…darkness had been the same the entire time he was unconscious.

A huge claw went into the pit where Han had disappeared. I heard a loud cracking and peeked out of Chewie's fur as the claw rose.

Han.

Frozen.

I had a sudden flashback to my dream on Hoth, when Han and Luke had been trapped outside. He had been frozen then too, his head thrown back and hands up as if to ward off a beast.

Just like now.

I jumped when the slab of frozen carbonite containing the body of my beloved thudded to the ground. Lando walked over and looked at the dials along the side of Han's living coffin. "Well, Calrissian, did he survive?" Vader asked.

"Yes, he's alive. And in perfect hibernation."

Relief and despair flooded my heart at the same time.

"He's all yours bounty hunter." Vader turned to Lando. "Reset the chamber for Skywalker." Luke. He was still out there.

An officer approached. "Skywalker had just landed, Lord."

Vader seemed satisfied. "Good, see to it that he finds his way in here."

Lando approached Chewie and I. He grabbed my arm. I resisted. Vader interrupted. "Calrissian, take the princess and the Wookie to my ship."

Lando was losing control now. "You said they'd be left in the city under my supervision!"

"I am altering the deal, pray I don't alter it any further." Lando looked at me guiltily. I looked at Han.

As we left the carbon chamber, Calrissian made a wide circle around Han. I didn't. I walked straight towards it. I reached out to touch him and I brushed his frozen fingertips.

They were cold.


End file.
